Takiya Kalaam (Catch Phrase)

Takiya kalaam a term from Urdu language, used as a metaphor. It roughly  means 'a habit to say particular words (sometimes with no meaning),even when not necessary'.

I believe everyone of us have one such kind of catch phrase and we speak it almost every time when talking to someone with out realizing that we are saying it. It comes so unintentionally that sometimes you say it when it is not supposed to be said in some situations.

These catchphrase gets so attached with you that they become part of your identity and if you have spent some time with a person then you can easily identify him with his catch phrase. Actually, that's how I identified one of my friend :), few days back I received a call from India from a unknown number and the conversation went like this

Me: Hello! this is Ankit speaking.

Friend: Aur be saale, kya haal hein?? (How are you doing man?)

I realized that this must be one of my friend (as most of my friends start talking like this and even I do the same with them, no Hi no Hello direct baat... Seedhi baat, no bakwaas :D) so I replied  in a manner to not to sound like I have not recognized him.

Me: main.... main sahi hoon.... saale tu kaisa he? (I am doing fine dude, how are you?)

Friend: main bhi mast hoon.... saale pehchaana ki nahin pehchaana? (I am fine as well, did you recognize me?)

Now there comes the tough question, the answer was No but I didn't tell him this.

Me: Abe kaisi baat kar rha he, kyun nahin pehchaanuga, bhai he tu. (What are you saying bro, why wouldn't I recognize you?)

Friend: Chalna Kamine, mujhe pta he....nahin pehchaana tune... saale India se bahar jaa kar bhool gya bhai ko. (Oh come on man, I know you have not recognized me, you forgot me after going out of India)

Now, here starts the emotional drama

Me: Abe kaisi baat kar rha he, tujhe kaise bhool sakta hoon? (What are you saying man, how can I forget you)

Friend: accha!! chal naam bta kaun bol rha hoon? (Alright! tell me my name and who am I?)

Oh! now I was caught but still I managed to some more emotional drama

Me: abe kaisi baat kar rha he yaar, tujhe vishwaas nahin he mujh pe, ab kya tujhe naam bataunga tabhi manega tu? ( Come on dude! what are you talking about, don't you believe me? Now, Do I need to tell you your name to make you believe that I have recognized you).

Friend: nahin be... chod, mazak kar rha tha... "Aur bta kya maujh aa rahi he"

"Aur bta kya maujh aa rahi he" suddenly this line ran through all over my brain and my brain indicated that it is familiar with this line, it has heard this line somewhere and then it started Googling for this line in the mind database to find out that associated link or name with this line. Bingo! It give me a name and a smile on my face. 

Me: bas yaar chal rha he asusal, tu bta <yahan maine uska naam liya, mujhe confirm ho jaye ki wo wahi he and use bhi vishwaas ho jaye ki maine use pehchaan liya> kya chal rha he? (nothing new buddy, life is going as usual, you tell me  <here I took his name to confirm myself and also to make him believe that I know who  he is> how is it going at your end ?)

 and the conversation followed.

So this is how an Takiya Kalaam or catchphrase can help you in some situations if you know about them for different person.

One more thing, have you  noticed the English translation of that conversation? Isn't it more funny in English :)

Are you Facebook Dumb or Facebook Intelligent?

Seriously, tell me are you a Facebook dumb or Facebook intelligent?

Well, if you are not getting what I mean by Facebook dumb or Facebook intelligent and want to know about it then keep reading, otherwise, if you think this is a stupid question or you already know the answer then you may leave this page right away.(If you are leaving then thanks for increasing the visitor counter by one and I hope you come back here again :D)

So, what I meant by Facebook dumb or Facebook intelligent is:- (In my view)

1. A person who uses Facebook with out caring about privacy settings or about the audience of their profile can be categorized as Facebook dumb i.e. a person who post/share anything on their profile mainly photos or their friend's photos with public settings can be considered as Facebook dumb.

2. A person who uses Facebook by taking in to consideration that who is going to be the audience for their each post can be categorized as Facebook intelligent i.e. a person who does not post their personal or their friend's information publicly.

Although, if a person is posting something with public settings on purpose then the above categories are not for them.

If you fall under the first category then keep reading else congratulations you are not Facebook dumb.

Well, through some shared articles or photos on Facebook you might have read about misuse of photos posted by people here. I am not saying that it is totally true but in a rarest case if it is happening than isn't it worth to give a thought about your privacy setting before posting anything especially picture on Facebook?

Posting pictures with public access on social media portals/websites is something like a irreversible process, once you have posted it then it's not sure that it will not exist anymore the moment you delete it.

I am not saying that you should stop posting but always choose what you want to share with public and what with your friends, even Facebook has customized access settings to a very good extent in terms of choosing the audience of your content.

Oftentimes while browsing Facebook I come across many profiles where I saw the entire albums of people who are not in my friends list, I thought they might have album/photos visibility settings set to friends of friends but to my surprise they were posted as public. If I can see them then any body on this Facebook world can see them. This is the situation when I call such profile owners as Facebook dumb.

Well, it may be possible that you are falling in this category unknowingly because there can be many reasons for that. In this era of smart phones and tablets people generally use their smart device to upload photos as it is the most easiest way to share your picture among friends without taking the pain to first transfer pictures from your smart device to desktop/laptop and then upload them manually. It could be one of the reason to categorize one as Facebook dumb.

Facebook application or in fact any other social media applications on Windows, Android and Mac platforms makes this task easy for you, just go to the gallery, select pictures, select share on Facebook/Twitter/Google +, enter your status and done. After pressing button done the application goes in background and upload your pictures to your account but, here, I would like you to keep one thing in mind, you still have to select privacy settings of your album otherwise it will get posted as public.

Well, I am not going to mention or reiterate all the privacy settings of Facebook here as you can refer them there itself but I would like to quote some tips:-

1. Select your audience while posting through any smart device.

2. While uploading your pictures through web interface do check settings. Look for settings button while creating album or adding photos in a album through web interface. When Facebook changes it album creating and photo uploading interface then buttons may get rearranged.

3. When posting through your wall "what's on your mind?" then select your audience before posting.

4. Make separate lists from your friends list to classify your photos, posts among the group. For example, make a list of all family members among whom you can share your personal family photos or make a list of your bff among whom you can share your top secret stuff :).

5. Decide what you want to share with your friends and what with your friend of friend.

6. While tagging your friends check if you are not compromising their security settings.

7. Android devices comes with a feature of instant upload on Google+  i.e. any picture you will click on your phone will get upload automatically from your gallery on Google+. This feature is enabled by default so check your phone settings and disable it if you don't want instant upload.

8. Cover photos are public be default and you can not customize it so decide if you want to post your picture on it.

9. You can select visibility settings of your friends list, albums, which pages or to whom you are following and who all are following you. Select your setting.

10. You can view your profile as your friend i.e. you can check how one of your friend will see your profile, this is an useful facility provided by Facebook to adjust your privacy settings. The default view is set as public.

So, you, Facebook dumb people I hope you get my purpose of writing this post. Now don't be a Facebook dumb, be a Facebook intelligent.

Marriage

Disclaimer: This one is on a funny note from a husband’s perspective

Marriage makes you realize that

1.      You cannot walk faster if your beloved wife is on high heels.

2.      You cannot jump out of the bed from any side.

3.      Your things are slowly vanishing as they are kept in a well mannered way by your wife at some proper place.

4.      You have to rethink about readjusting fan speed or cooling time of Air conditioner.

5.      Your home can actually look good.

6.      You don’t have access to TV Remote control anymore.

7.      Your all time is reserved for your wife.

8.      You cannot go to grab beer without her permission or without lying to her.

9.      You cannot stare girls while wife is with you.

10.  You have to get used to carry more bags being it in shopping or Travelling.

11.  You have to carry a tissue paper or handkerchief before yelling/shouting on her.

12.  Your percentage of saying "Yes" is higher than the percentage of her saying “I don’t know, it’s up to you”.

13.  You are getting free advices from her.

14.  You cannot put your towel anywhere.

15.  You come to know various things related to women.

16.  You have to go with her in Ladies section of a garment store and avoid seeing Lingerie  and chromosome XY near trial rooms.

17.  Your Marriage is coming with complimentary breakfast, lunch and dinner but you should learn cooking. It may help you sometime.

18.  Biweekly or weekly you have to go for buying groceries and vegetables.

19.  Your own siblings leaves your team and  join your wife’s team.

20.  Your friends do not call you at odd hour.

21.  Your friends talk to you very humbly when wife is around and you get astonished by getting that respect.

22.  With friends you cannot say all those words loudly and you have to mock them.

23.  Your friends always talk about your good character/nature (which they have never done before) in front of wife.

24.  Suddenly you become Uncle from Bhaiya.

25.  You are invited in functions with family.

26.  Someone is waiting for you at home.

27.  She is the one who loves jerk/geek like you.

28.  You always see her face while going to bed and wake up from bed.

29.  Her whole world revolves around you.

30.  You are the only one who matters to her.

31.  Your mother's place is now taken by your wife. Earlier you shared things with your mother and now you start sharing things with wife.

32.  …

And many more such realizations.

I believe this is a never ending list just like a never published book to understand a woman.

PS: This is based on some of my realizations and some of others.

Saale Kaminey!!

Some times when we are in our friend circle and talking with each other on some topic, a situation occurs on which you have experience but you don't want to tell your friends that actually you had experienced it due to fear that all of 'em will make fun of you and but the your innersole is so impatient that you can not control yourself bursting out so you start telling it by taking example of your imaginary friend or an imaginary unknown person. For ex:-

Situation/Topic of discussion: Have you ever been to a ladies loo?

You: " Arey Yaar, I have one friend who mistakenly got in to a ladies loo, he went inside, pissed very calmly as he got into the heaven and he came to know about it when a guy crossed him making some weird expressions on him and entered other door just beside the door from where he was exiting....".

All of your friend burst laughing out on this along with you and you had a thought inside your mind...."Dekha, kaise sab lot pot ho rahe hein....agar main apni sachai bta deta to ye log to mujhe chodte hi nahin". Then, one of your friend ask you "who was he....naam to bta" and then you say "Chodna yaar....naam kya batau". (The person whose fun you just made does not exist so you can't tell a name or may be a name which do not exist in your far far friend list).

There are also other situations with good or bad experiences where we portray ourselves as some other person to hide our truth but there is always one Kamina friend who interprets that its you only and not anybody else although this friend will not expose you in front of every body but later he will surely say to you "Saale Kaminey!! tu hi tha na wo... saale kisi aur ka naam lekar apni kahani suna raha he.... bol should I tell everybody?" :)

Have you ever wondered how many times we have portrayed our self to an imaginary friend or an imaginary unknown person to discuss our own problems, good/bad experiences with our friends and have you figured out your Kamina friend?