Marriage

Disclaimer: This one is on a funny note from a husband’s perspective

Marriage makes you realize that

1.      You cannot walk faster if your beloved wife is on high heels.

2.      You cannot jump out of the bed from any side.

3.      Your things are slowly vanishing as they are kept in a well mannered way by your wife at some proper place.

4.      You have to rethink about readjusting fan speed or cooling time of Air conditioner.

5.      Your home can actually look good.

6.      You don’t have access to TV Remote control anymore.

7.      Your all time is reserved for your wife.

8.      You cannot go to grab beer without her permission or without lying to her.

9.      You cannot stare girls while wife is with you.

10.  You have to get used to carry more bags being it in shopping or Travelling.

11.  You have to carry a tissue paper or handkerchief before yelling/shouting on her.

12.  Your percentage of saying "Yes" is higher than the percentage of her saying “I don’t know, it’s up to you”.

13.  You are getting free advices from her.

14.  You cannot put your towel anywhere.

15.  You come to know various things related to women.

16.  You have to go with her in Ladies section of a garment store and avoid seeing Lingerie  and chromosome XY near trial rooms.

17.  Your Marriage is coming with complimentary breakfast, lunch and dinner but you should learn cooking. It may help you sometime.

18.  Biweekly or weekly you have to go for buying groceries and vegetables.

19.  Your own siblings leaves your team and  join your wife’s team.

20.  Your friends do not call you at odd hour.

21.  Your friends talk to you very humbly when wife is around and you get astonished by getting that respect.

22.  With friends you cannot say all those words loudly and you have to mock them.

23.  Your friends always talk about your good character/nature (which they have never done before) in front of wife.

24.  Suddenly you become Uncle from Bhaiya.

25.  You are invited in functions with family.

26.  Someone is waiting for you at home.

27.  She is the one who loves jerk/geek like you.

28.  You always see her face while going to bed and wake up from bed.

29.  Her whole world revolves around you.

30.  You are the only one who matters to her.

31.  Your mother's place is now taken by your wife. Earlier you shared things with your mother and now you start sharing things with wife.

32.  …

And many more such realizations.

I believe this is a never ending list just like a never published book to understand a woman.

PS: This is based on some of my realizations and some of others.