How I Met My Wife

Yes.. you are thinking it right, the title of this post is inspired from American television series How I Met your Mother but trust me, I am not going to tell you a never ending tale like HIMYM.

My process of arrange marriage was going on after meeting one, two and three which I have already told you, there were other meetings but they were not interesting as compared to those three meetings.Along with the newspaper advertisement and friends, relatives contacts I have also made my matrimonial profile as a free user on matrimonial website www.jeevansathi.com and trust me guys once you have made a login on it your mail box will start receiving lots of notifications about the profile who has viewed your profile, who has accepted/rejected your interest, who has shown interest in your profile and suitable matching profiles according to your profile.

My parents used to browse those profiles and then when they find a suitable profile they asked me to have a look and give my approval. Things were going on like this, one day my parents told me that one of their friend has told about a girl from Agra and her profile id on jeevansathi.com, It was Palak's profile and I liked it. I asked my parents to proceed further. When Palak came to know about such initiation from our side she become a bit worried and decided to talk to me first before proceeding.


Normally, my intention was to talk to the girl for some time before the face to face meeting but it was not always possible. We both felt that we need to first talk to each other on phone/chat to understand each other and we can not take a big decision of our life in those 10 minutes face to face meeting in a secluded room so we were talking.


Later on, we felt that we should meet each other before our parents meeting and exactly one year before I went to Agra to meet Palak. She told me that she will pick me from railway station but she didn't arrive when I have already reached there, actually it was raining that day and  she got stuck in traffic. I was waiting for her on the station and after some time I saw her coming on her Activa, she stopped and took off her helmet and came to me.On that moment dialogue of Aamir Khan from 3 Idiots were going through my mind.... 

"Tum apne scooter pe helmet pehen kar aati ho, aur phir apna helmet utar kar meri taraf aati ho and phir mujhe.... "

She was completely drenched due to the rain, so it was like "...Bheegi bheegi saari me yun thumke lagati tum..." we exchanged initial greetings and decided to go to some restaurant. Till this point when I saw her in real I was somewhat fallen for her, I asked her to park her Activa in station's parking and hire a auto rickshaw but she refused (I don't know why), she insisted me to hop on on her scooty. I did that, when she drove I was really singing in my mind


"...jaisa filmon main hota hai ho raha hai hoobahu
Zubi dubi zubi dubi pum pa ra zubi dubi para rum
zubi dubi zubi naache kyon paagal stupid mum..."


We went to a restaurant and talked there till the time of my return train, she dropped me back on railway station and I came to Noida. As the days were passing and as we were talking on phone after that meeting in Agra my so called infatuation was turning into a budding love but I didn't told her about this as still our parents have to meet and decide. We fixed the parents meeting and by this time we both were sure that if things goes fine between parents then we have made the right decision.

We went to Palak's relatives home for family meeting, she arrived after sometime,she was blushing and she was not uttering a word, I was continuously smiling to see talkative, charming,bubbly Palak to be silent and blushing. When we got our 10 minute cut in a different room then we laughed (matlab ek dum khul ke hass rahe the hum dono because our parents were not aware about our face to face meeting in Agra, before that family meeting they were only aware that we are talking on phone) and She said

Palak: ab kya baat karein hum log, hum to saari baatein pehle hi kar chuke hein.
Me: Haan wo to he but still hume ye 10-15 minute  baat to karni hi hogi.


Me: Waise Palak ji, aapko sharmana bhi aata he...ye to maine aaj hi dekha. Us din Agra me to tum badi bindaas thi. Aaj kya hua?


Palak: Arey itne saare log bethe hein to sharm to aayegi hi, ye ladkiyon ki baatein he tum nahin samjhoge.
Me: Chalo thik he koi baat nahin.


Palak: So, what do you think, what parents are gonna say?
Me: I don't know, I believe that if we are destined to spend our life each other then everything will go fine.
Palak: hmm.... I will not feel bad if it is a No, I will accept it as a decision of God.But, it was really nice  talking and interacting to you.
Me: hmm...same here
(Actually, we both have said those filmy dialogues but internally we both wanted it to be yes and we both have felt bad if it came to be No from either of parents. This we shared to each other later on )


Our meeting got over and we were asked to come out. After few private discussion between my parents and  my Chacha,chachi they said yes and then meri Parchi wahin kat gayi :)

So, this is how I met my wife. Below is my video wedding invitation which we shoot during our courtship period, if you are on my facebook friend list then you can also see this video here. I hopw you will like it.

See what Mansi and Shivani find in their life on Sony Entertainment Television, every Monday to Thursday at 8.30p.m. (IST)

I have submitted this post for a contest on Indiblogger. Read details here: http://www.indiblogger.in/topic.php?topic=59

Visit the Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange

Meeting During Arrange Marriage Process-3

Okay fellas, I am back to marriage thing.

I have already talked about the process of arrange marriage and my first and second meeting during arrange marriage process. Now comes the third one, as the marriage proposals were flowing in both directions it leads to another meeting with parents of a girl from Rohini, Delhi. _{I know, you must be thinking that why I am writing all this about families from Delhi and if you did not then this statement of mine made you think that. Seriously, I do not have any intention to project anything wrong/negative for families from Delhi, it was me only who wanted to have my life partner from NCR (why? Well, there are many reasons which may need a separate post, so, not this time). There were some good meetings as well, but, as I already said in my first post that these posts will contain my funny (or weird) meeting experience with family members of those potential prospective brides.}

Meeting with girl’s parents was fixed at my apartment, again, I thought maybe they want to see how this bachelor is keeping up his home or may be my living standard. Thankfully they were only two people to screen me, the mother (the Lady) and the father. I escorted them in to my  apartment and made them settle down. After exchanging usual pleasantries and serving them whatever I had arranged the lady opened the questionnaire:-

The Lady: So, Ankit, tell me about yourself.

This question sounded like an interview question which is generally asked to candidates to start interview and I answered in that manner only.

The Lady: Ok, good. So from where you did your schooling and graduation? From Gujarat or from U.P?

Me: I did my whole schooling from Gujarat and graduation from U.P.

Girl’s father was smiling and pushing his both knees with his both hands. May be he was feeling sleepy or he was stressed out of driving from Rohini to Noida

The Lady: Ok and what was your percentages in Xth, XIIth and B.Tech?

Smile from face of girl’s father got vanished and I literally said

Me: Excuse Me.

From here the conversation went in Hindi

The Lady: Marks aapke Xth, XIIth and B.Tech me. Beta agar aap comfortable nahin ho to mat batao. Main ye dekhna chah rahi thi ki how intelligent you are.

Me: I am totally confortable in it. Itne bure marks nahin he mere, wo kya he na ki aisa question aaj tak kisi ne aisi meeting me pucha nahin to I was little shocked.

I told them about my marks and I wanted to told her that a person cannot be always declared as intelligent by looking at academics but I didn’t . She started digging her purse and took out some papers and handed over to me.

The Lady: Ye humari beti ki MCA ki photo copy he and uski transcript bhi he. Main generally rakhti hoon agar koi dekhna chahe to. Beta aap dikha sakte ho apne degree and transcript?

“Shock laga laga shock laga…..” I thought ki ye aunty marriage silsele me aayi he ya she is some third party verification agent.

Me: Arey aunty!! Iski koi zaroorat nahin he. Aapne bataya to I totally believe you after all ye to vishwas karne waali baat he. Haan wo baat sahi he ki verify karna chahiye as aajkal dhoka dhadi bahut hoti he.

She didn’t say any word, she smiled a bit and then become somewhat serious.  I continued

Me: Waise aunty Preksha (imaginary name) ke Xth and XIIth ke certificates and marksheets nahi laye aap? Waise kitne marks the unke?

The Lady: Unke <something something> marks the aur baaki documents to he nahin mere pass. Aap k documents…..??

Me: Actually aunty, mere pass he nahin mere documents, ghar par he, soft copies he mere pass, if you want then I will send it you.

She has not expected such counter attack from my side. Girl’s father intervened and said

Father: Arey nahin, uski koi zaroorat nahin he, ye to bas aise hi pooch liya.

Me: Oh achha!!

On my such kind of reaction her facial expression was very serious as if she wanted to walkout from my apartment. She bent her head towards left, leaned forward and in a Sarkar Raj style she asked me

_{From her this kind of expression I sensed that she is going to ask another ajeeb question.}

The Lady: College me padhai k alawa kuch aur bhi kiya he ya nahin?

“Kuch aur bhi”…  there are various meanings of “Kuch aur bhi” in college life. Which one she wants to know so I asked her

Me: Sorry, aunty main kuch samjha nahin.

The Lady: mera matlab sirf padhai hi karte the ya kisi sports, extracurricular activities me bhi involved the?

Me: Sports me to nahin but haan extracurricular activities me involve tha.

The Lady: (with a small fake smile on her face) ok, kis type ki activities?

Me: mmm…. Like watching movies, playing network based computer games on desktop,  getting involved in long night discussions (B*kch**i), raat ko khoke pe jaa kar Anda parantha khana and chai peena aur college ke management ko galiyan dena. _{Actually, I didn’t say all this.} Well, I was involved in organizing various kind of technical fest in college and I was also the founder member of our College’s first computer society “CONATUS”.

 The discussion shifted from education to general life, she asked me various things about our style of living i.e. how we (me and my cousin) are managing our food, how do we commute, what we do once we get to home after office and one more interesting question

The Lady: aap log apne kapde kaise dhote ho? I mean maid he ya apne aap?

Me: Ji maid ko humne hta diya as she has spoiled some of our good shirts and Ts so apne app.

The Lady: (With her mouth open wide) Apne aap, kaise haathon se?

Me: No, not at all, we have our own washing machine so we use it.

The Lady: Ok, so, shaadi ke baad kaun kapde dhoyega, aap ya aap apni wife se kahoge?

I was losing my temper on such stupid questions, I decided that I won’t be answering  this question diplomatically

Me: Aunty, ye to situation pe depend karega, agar meri wife is out for some work and kapde dhone ki zaroorat he to main hi dho dunga, isme koi male ego waali baat to he nahin. Abhi bhi main hi dhota hoon aur jaise time k according requirement hogi waise dono kar lenge. Aisa to he nahin ki I will always ask her to do the clothes, hum ek padhe likhe samajhdar log he and hum jaante he ki mil  baat kar kaam karne se time bhi save ho jaata he and enjoyment alag hota he. Wo to pehle ki baat thi jab har kaam ghar ki lady ko hi karna hota, mere khyaal se ab aisa nahin, jab dono husband and wife working he to dono ko mutual understanding se saare kaam karte hein.

Auntyji to thodi der k liye chup ho gayi. Girl’s father sensed that it is not going well and I am getting irritated with such questions so he broke the silence

Father: haan beta ye to sahi kha aapne.Aisa hi hona chahiye, dono me se agar koi naraaz bhi ho jaye to doosre partner ko musky maar kar use mana bhi lena chahiye.

He kept down his soft drink glass on table and asked his lady

Father: I think hume ab chalna chahiye.

She nodded in agreement and they left the apartment. I was sure that by seeing my khadoos attitude they are not going to proceed and I also wanted this.

Show Off

We have often heard that these days Marriages are a medium for show off. Things like kind of decorations, varieties of food, kind of Marriage hall or farm house etc one has opted shows status of that family. Show off starts right from the marriage invitation card i.e. Marriage invitation card itself indicates which kind of marriage one is going to have.
Show off from the type of Wedding invitation card can be understandable but show off from the content of wedding invitation card is some thing which can not be explained. One of my colleague who belongs to Tamilnadu  is getting married and when we (our team) received his invitation card we were not able to believe our eyes. However we were not able to understand his card as it was printed in Tamil but few words in that card grabbed our eyes which made me write this post.
Below are the edited scanned version of his card which we got on our email.
This one is quite normal

but the next one is not

I believe you are familiar with most of the qualifications which can be seen above but if you are not aware about TNEB then it is Tamil Nadu Electricity Board. Tradition of mentioning highest qualification with the name of bride and groom can also be seen in North India but for the first time I saw the designation and qualification of whole family mentioned in the wedding invitation card.
Next one is super cool :)
 
Groom’s name is printed with his qualification, designation, company name and location. RSVP list also has qualifications.
This may be the trend of marriages from Tamilnadu and I believe not only me but you have also not seen a wedding invitation card like this.
***Disclaimer:Intention of this post is not to make fun of any community or individual. Purpose of this post is to show the different things which people are doing these days.***

##Keep reading and stay blessed##

Meeting During Arrange Marriage Process-2

So, after my first meeting during arrange marriage process incoming and outgoing of marriage proposals were going on. I used to filter the profiles which I felt suitable and then asked my parents to have a look at them, take decision and either send a mail or reply to a mail for further proceedings.

Going through this an another meeting got fixed. This time I had to go to girl’s place at Model town in Delhi. When I got a call  from girl’s mother (let’s call her “The Lady”) for the coordinates of their house I actually resisted a bit to go to their home. I asked them whether we can meet at some public place like in a Mall or in Mc Donalds but they told me that there is no such thing in their vicinity. So, I had to go to their home in Model Town. Meeting time was fixed for 11am so I had to leave Indirapuram around 10 am (which is too early to get up on a weekend) as Metro takes around 45 minutes from Anand Vihar to Model Town.

I reached there on time, informed The Lady about my arrival on Metro station, she told me her husband will be there in next 5 minutes to pick me. Girl’s father came after 20 minutes to receive me at Metro station and then he escorted me to their home. It looked like as if he has smoked and spent those 15 minutes in enjoying taking puffs of that white smoke having nicotine, carbon monoxide and tar in it (Actually, being a non smoker I come to know very quickly if a person has smoked or not).

I settled down in their drawing room. Soon The lady appeared with Mango juice and other snacks, she was waiting to cover the table with the plates of snacks the moment prospective groom comes. Three of us were sitting there and the conversation followed:-

The Lady: Lo beta lo, pehle Paani peelo phir Mango juice pee lena.

Me: (Like a obedient kid) ji aunty, thank you.

The lady passed me a plate and placed one Samosa, one piece of Dhokla and a sweet in my plate. I was feeling hungry as I had just a cup of tea and two slices of brown bread in my breakfast before leaving my home but, in formality I said

Me: Auntyji, aapne bahut jyada rakh diya, itna main nahin kha paunga ( jab ki main soch rha tha ki yaar ek aur Samosa pet me chale jayega to pta bhi nahin chalega ki Samosa pet me kis kone me pada hua he).

The Lady: Arey nahin beta, itna to sab bacche kha hi lete hein.

The lady to his husband who was sitting silent and looking around.

The Lady: Aap bhi le lo kuch, kya rakhoon aapki plate me?

Father: Nahin, nahin, main nahin lunga kuch, abhi to breakfast kiya. Tum le lo.

The Lady: Nahin, nahin, main nahin humne abhi thodi der pehle breakfast kiya.

Me: Aunty aap le liyeje kuch. Main akela hi kha rha hoon to accha nahin lag rha aise.

The Lady: arey koi baat nahin aap khao.

In the mean time father picked newspaper from the table and started reading it. It quite weird that father was not showing any interest in the marriage process of her daughter.

The Lady: To beta, aap log shaadi kahan se karenge?

Bingo!! Here comes the first interview question of the process.

Me: Aunty, abhi aisa kuch decide nahin he. Humare saare relatives isi area me he to shayad yahin se karenge.

The Lady: Accha. Main Shweta ko bulati hoon.

She disappeared to call her darling daughter. I finished my Samosa and was thinking whether I should continue with Dhokla or go slowly. Father was not interested at all so he was reading his NBT. The lunch was getting prepared in their kitchen as I was able to smell the fragrance of Rajma getting cooked. (Naak thodi tez he ji meri…)

The girl appeared, no…not with the tray of tea and other things but with a very different expression on her face as if she was not in the mood to do all this and her parents(especially her mother) have forced her. I can understand that kind of feeling when you are supposed to do things which you are not willing to do.

The Lady: Shewta beta, betho, yahan beth jao Ankit k samne.

Shweta: Nahin Mummy, aapko bola na maine I am okay here.

The Lady: Arey beta samne beth jaana, ek doosre ko dekh to loge thik se. Ab ek doosre ko dekhoge tabhi to decide karoge.

Shweta: (In high pitch)Mummy please.

Me: Aunty please, yeh kaisi baatein kar rahe he aap (only in my mind).

She was not looking at me. She was looking down. I felt either she is shying very much or she does not want all this. Chances of second thought are more as she didn’t seem to be a shy girl. I broke the cone of silence

Me:  Hello!!

Shweta Nodded her head but didn’t say any word. I made my mind that I am not going forward here but still I needed to sit there since I am in their home.

Me: Aap kuch lijiye khane k liye.

The Lady: Haan beta tum bhi kuch le lo.

Shweta: Nahin, mujhe kuch nahin lena.

The Lady: Arey lele beta, wo akele hi kha rahe he, company ho jayegi.

Shweta: Mummy!! Maine kaha na ki mujhe nahin khana he kuch bhi, abhi to  breakfast kiya he maine aur kitna khaun.

I stopped slicing Dhokla for a moment when I heard what she said but then I continued with Dhokla while thinking “Arey maine breakfast nahin kiya he to main to kha sakta hoon J aur waise is family ki unity dekho, koi kuch khane ko taiyaar hi nahin he. Jaise Bakre ko halaal karne se pehle bahut khilaya jaata he waise hi situation yahan meri he ;)”.

The Lady: Aap dono aapas me baat kar lo, hum aate hein thodi der me.

Shweta: Nahin Mummy, aisi bhi koi baat nahin karni he hume, aap dono beth sakte ho.

The Lady: Nahin, nahin. Kar lo aapas me baat, jo poochna he wo pooch lo.  Suno ji, aap bhi chal lo.

Father got surprised when he heard what his majesty said and left his place and placed newspaper back on the table.

Me: haan aunty, aap logo k jaane ki zaroorat nahin he.

The Lady: Nahin nahin, hum aate he abhi thodi der me. 

 I, Shweta and Samosa, dhokla along with other stuff between us were in the room. I thought ki “yaar 5-10 minute pass karne he aur main ab aur kya baat karun, Shweta to kuch baat karne k mood me lag hi nahin rahi he aur ab to dhokla bhi khatam ho gya he to khali beth kar idhar udhar dekhne se accha he ki main hi kuch pooch leta hoon ”. She was completely ignoring me and I got that but still I asked her

Me: So in which platform do you work in TechM?

Shweta: Database technologies.

Me: Okay, in development, testing or DBA?

She paused for some time. I thought she is not interested to answer this question.

Shweta: I am DBA (Database Administrator).

Her father appeared in the room and took his seat. All three of us were silent and I had already  put my plate down on the table. I was looking at them and they were looking at me. It was an awkward moment but I wasn’t responsible for this. Shweta picked that NBT newspaper and started reading it, The lady was not in the room, her father was looking at me and I was looking at him with a small smile on my face. I was smiling at her daughter, I was smiling on how she was behaving. She sensed the silence in the room so broke it by saying

Shweta: Arey Papa!! kuch to baat kar lo, sab hi chup ho gaye hein.(She said this line as if she cares how to treat a guest).

Finally, The lady appeared in the room and asked her daughter forcefully to go and make some tea. She refilled my plate with a Kachori and some sweets (ofcourse forcefully, but, I didn’t mind it J) and asked me one surprising thing

The Lady: Kaisi lagi humari beti?

 I was totally astonished by this question of her and I was struggling very hard to what to tell her. I was in their home and it’s not right if I tell her that I didn’t like her daughter at all and to whom her daughter was showing all that attitude but I thought to handle this question diplomatically but that diplomacy didn’t worked.

Me: Aunty, main aise kaise bta sakta hoon aapko. I mean, 5-10 minute ki meeting me main kuch decide nahin kar paya.

The Lady: Dekhne me kaisi lagi? Aapko pasand aayi? Baat cheet karne me kaisi lagi?

(Abe yaar!!, ye to directly pooch rahi he ab inhe kaise directly mana karoon…. Kuch positive sa bolke bhaago yahan se)

Me: Aunty, baat karne me to mujhe thik lagi Shweta Ji (Ji with more emphasis), baaki main mujhe apne ghar waalon se discuss karna padega.

The Lady: haan beta, ghar waalon se to discuss zaroor karna chahiye. Ab mera beta USA me he, wahan usne apne aap hi ek Indian ladki se shaadi karne ki zidd pakad li ab hum kya karein bachhon ki zidd k aage to maa baap to jhukna hi padta he. Aur jo bahu he humari wo bahut moti he, pta nahin kya dekha humare bête ne usme lekin dono accha kama rahe he wahan. Main dikhati hoon aapko unki photo.

On this moment I started losing my patience, why in the world this lady was telling me about all this and why she want to show photo of her daughter-in-law, who I am to her ? I didn’t said anything. She went in to the kitchen to see what is taking so long for tea to come. Again, I was with the father in that room. This time I thought “Yaar, ye uncle ji ko smile pass karne se accha he ki plate me rakhe items pe concentrate karo.” J

The lady appeared again and told that Shweta’s grandfather (let’s call him Dadaji) want to meet me and he would like to share tea with us. They took me in the room of Grandfather at the ground floor, I saw the exit gate and thought to run away but I was escorted and followed by three of them so no chance of escape unless I did some action like Agent Vinod.

When we entered in the room, Dadaji raised his hand towards me, I grabbed his hand and shaked it firmly believing that he wants to shake hands but later on from his facial expression I realized that he was asking me to seat on the chair in the direction of his hand J. I want to rofl but sensing seriousness in the room I did not. Dadaji talked about general matrimonial thingy things and the whole meeting came to end with a final punch from the lady

The Lady: Beta, aap apne parents se discuss kar lena aur hume zaroor batana ki aage se proceed karna he, batana zaroor jis se hum bhi sure ho jaye, kaafi log aate he kha peekar chale jaate he aur jawab hi nahin dete.

Me: Ji Aunty, zaroor, aapne bahut acchi khatidaari kari he, hum iska jawab zaroor denge. Namaste!!

The Lady: Namaste!!

I left their place, felt relieved and bought a lemonade from a nearby shop to digest all those stuff which was stuffed in my stomach.

Marriage

Disclaimer: This one is on a funny note from a husband’s perspective

Marriage makes you realize that

1.      You cannot walk faster if your beloved wife is on high heels.

2.      You cannot jump out of the bed from any side.

3.      Your things are slowly vanishing as they are kept in a well mannered way by your wife at some proper place.

4.      You have to rethink about readjusting fan speed or cooling time of Air conditioner.

5.      Your home can actually look good.

6.      You don’t have access to TV Remote control anymore.

7.      Your all time is reserved for your wife.

8.      You cannot go to grab beer without her permission or without lying to her.

9.      You cannot stare girls while wife is with you.

10.  You have to get used to carry more bags being it in shopping or Travelling.

11.  You have to carry a tissue paper or handkerchief before yelling/shouting on her.

12.  Your percentage of saying "Yes" is higher than the percentage of her saying “I don’t know, it’s up to you”.

13.  You are getting free advices from her.

14.  You cannot put your towel anywhere.

15.  You come to know various things related to women.

16.  You have to go with her in Ladies section of a garment store and avoid seeing Lingerie  and chromosome XY near trial rooms.

17.  Your Marriage is coming with complimentary breakfast, lunch and dinner but you should learn cooking. It may help you sometime.

18.  Biweekly or weekly you have to go for buying groceries and vegetables.

19.  Your own siblings leaves your team and  join your wife’s team.

20.  Your friends do not call you at odd hour.

21.  Your friends talk to you very humbly when wife is around and you get astonished by getting that respect.

22.  With friends you cannot say all those words loudly and you have to mock them.

23.  Your friends always talk about your good character/nature (which they have never done before) in front of wife.

24.  Suddenly you become Uncle from Bhaiya.

25.  You are invited in functions with family.

26.  Someone is waiting for you at home.

27.  She is the one who loves jerk/geek like you.

28.  You always see her face while going to bed and wake up from bed.

29.  Her whole world revolves around you.

30.  You are the only one who matters to her.

31.  Your mother's place is now taken by your wife. Earlier you shared things with your mother and now you start sharing things with wife.

32.  …

And many more such realizations.

I believe this is a never ending list just like a never published book to understand a woman.

PS: This is based on some of my realizations and some of others.