Second hand Jawani and Halkat Jawani

***Disclaimer: No! this post is not about Saifeena and also not about the songs which have the words as of the title of this post. These words do not seem awkward when you listen them in songs but they do if they are used to symbolize about somebody's personal life.
You may find this post a bit weird or ugly due to the usage of language and words which were used actually between a group of people.***

Conversation 1:

Person 1: Abe saale!! wo tujhe pagal bana rahi he, use kar rahi tujhe.

Person 2: yaar aisa kuch nahin he.

Person 1: kya kuch nahin he? hum sab ko kya dikhta nahin he. Pehle waale ko to usne chod diya Gay bolkar and tu fresh he isiliye tere chakkar me he. <Ice daaliyo bhai>.

Person 3: <Oye, mere bhi ice daal de>, sahi to bol rha he ye, tabhi to tere ko itna space de rahi he. Tere alawa aur bhi logo ne module pe saath kaam kiya he phir unse itna friendly kyun nahin hoti wo. Tere ko fasa rahi he wo.

Person 2: yaar! kaisi thinking he tum logo ki!! shit!! hum bas friend he haan professional friend se aage waale friend he bas.

Person 1: Abe, friend vriend kuch nahin hota, tujhe apne jaal main phasa rahi he. Uske liye to badhiya he na ki ek fresh ladka pat jayega, nahin to ek middle class divorcee ko second hand jawani hi milti he.<saala!!, high ho kar bhi uski perwi kar rha he.>

Person 3: Abe koi he nahin uske pass, isiliye tujh me rab dikh rha he use. Warna kaun si "just friend" ladki raat me 1-2 ghante phone pe baat karti he be?

Person 2: WTF!! how do you know that I talk to her in night?

Person 1: <arey ye khatam to kar> Abe BKL!! hum ek flat share karte hein, itna to pta chal hi jaata he kaun kis se baat kar rha he.

Person 3: Initially we thought that you are just doing time pass with her. But now every one on the floor is talking about your not so secret floor love.

Person 2: Guys!! give me a break, Okay!! now both of you are crossing the line and both of you have already insulted mine and her relation whatever it is. I love to spend time with her and I don't care if she was married once or twice, it does not matter to me. It's my personal life and I don't expect to hear such sluggish things from my roommates.

Person 1: <accha hua glass ni phoota> dekh bhai yahi to hum chahte hein that you take a break from her. Try to understand yaar, time pass thik he but why are you so serious about her. You are just 27 and in a year later you will be at good position in your career then you can choose any good girl from many girls. I am not saying that she is not good but she is experienced yaar.

Person 3: and it is like that only, fresh choose fresh for relations.

Person 2: Both of you, shut the fuck up, okay!! if you were not my room mates then I would have broken this bottle of magic moments on your fucking head. Douche bags.

Person 1,2: bhai, ye to gya, ye nahin samjhega.<chalo khatam kare, nahin to humare sir pe hi phootegi>

Conversation 2:

Person 1: Abe tujhe nahin pta? uski do shaadiyaan hui hein.

Person 2: Accha!! aisa kya hua? 

Person 3: Kya pta, bhaag gayi hogi pehle waali chod k ya phir isi ne bhaga diya hoga... maza nahin aa rha hoga ise.

Person 4: tabhi main sochun ki saala har time sab ki maa behen karne pe kyun lga rehta he, lagta he pehle waali chod gayi isiliye aisa rehta he.

Person 1: Abe jo bhi ho, doosri to mil gayi na!! saale ko do do mil gayi phir bhi baaki ladkiyon ko dekh kar tharkiya rehta he. 

Person 3: Saala, yahan ki tharak apni doosri waali pe nikalta hoga.

All: Ha ha ha!! 

Person 5: shhh!! wo saamne se aa rahe hein.

All: Good Morning Sir!

Person 1: Chalo be nikalte hein yahan se nahin to abhi humari hi le lega.

I hope you have interpreted what the above two conversation were about, what they were depicting and for whom by whom. 

Well, it seems that above conversations were taken between uneducated people with orthodox thinking but surprisingly they were taken among the employees of an IT firm for their top most manager and for their colleague. 

It's very sad to see that educated people working in IT firms have such kind of thoughts for people who have been through failed marriage or got married twice for any reason. Why to develop false perception for such people with out even knowing the exact reason of their failed marriage?

We talk and believe that everybody has the right to live a happy and cheerful life on the other hand we symbolize these people as nymphomaniac, despo etc. whatever they do we are always ready to take a vouch on them , laugh about them and criticize them on their back, no one does the same thing for the people who are single or living a happy first marriage life.

There can be many reasons behind a failed marriage which leads one to go for second marriage or to have a second chance in love but it does not mean that society and people want them to be always single to show their sympathy and always pity them "Bechara! kitna bhala aadmi he... ab akela he..." or to use them as an object for making fun.

Different people have different thinking on this topic but I feel that the perception/image of a person should not be based on his/her personal life and one should neither try to find out the reason behind their commitment status nor to project them as a person which actually they aren't.

Trash them up.

From past few weeks operating system on my laptop started giving me warning about low disk space, I don't why it started to buzz me when there was still 8 GB free space left from 300 GB hard disk drive and I was still like "keep talking.. you moron!! I am not gonna do anything until it comes down to 1 GB or 2 GB" but then one day it started behaving like old celeron or P1 processor which actually leads me to do some clean up.

When I started cleaning and rearranging data on hard disk drive I realized that how much clutter and seems to be useful and interesting unwanted things I have stored on it. Having a 300 GB hard disk I didn't think twice before storing something on it. Storing which movie or which songs did not matter till you have the full disk. If you have 500 GB or 1 TB hdd then its just gonna occupied with most of the  things which you actually don't require.

I don't know why I have collected and stored enormous number of technical and some novel's e-books/pdf on my laptop. I have hardly read some of them but I am sure that I am not going to read each and every pdf stored in my laptop in my entire life, so what's the use? I don't know? I still have them... ab gyaan ki cheezein kaise delete mar sakte hein :D. When I was done cleaning I was able to free 80 GB from hdd, it is the size of one hard disk drive which I used to have for my desktop in 2003.

But this whole cleaning process and a blog post who am I by Pooja  lead me to think one thing, just like hard disk drives, how much clutter or unwanted things we generally store or have in our life as well? It all seems to be important and useful but still its all unwanted and the moment you remove it from your life you will feel light, more spacious just like free space in hard disk drives.

Some small things, gives us or teach us some great things, if I start seeing things from a philosophical view then every thing says something to us which we sometimes listen or sometimes ignore.

So, sometimes we need to do them up, I know from hard disk drive perspective its easy and its hard from the real life perspective but still sometimes we need to shred those things.

That innocent child Inside you.

Most of the time I used to say to my wife "Yaar, you know you are talking like kids" or "Why you are behaving like kids? Com'on!!You are grown up, you are not a kid anymore." and to this she always says "haan haan aap to bahut bade ho na, you are sounding like a very very mature person".

Sometimes I wonder, we are now adult who understand things, situations, conditions, we know how to behave and what to speak but still sometimes we become that small kid which we used to be with out caring about this grown up world.

Yesterday, we were at the place of our one of the Indian friend here in Sweden for FIKA ( Swedish verb and noun (pronounced "fee-ka") that means "to drink coffee/tea/squash," with some sweets usually accompanied by friends). We met, chatted and after spending some time there we decided to go back to our place. The moment we reached downstairs it started raining heavily and then we have to stay there to wait for rain to stop.

We were again guests for our host, my friend took out his Nintendo Wii to play some games on it and it was my first experience with Nintendo Wii after all those child hood video games,brick games, college hood computer games (College hood, I know that's not a word :D ) and my experience was awesome. It lets you move from your place so its not like you are sitting at one place all the time in front of the TV screen. I wondered at that time if my parents would have been here at this moment then I could have said to them that "Ab aap log nahin keh sakte ki saare din is game k chakkar me TV k saamne betha rehta he... dekho ye bethna waala game nahin he :D".

The girls were least interested in playing that game so they were chatting and preparing dinner in their kitchen while we boys were jumping, bouncing and shouting while playing games on Wii :). Yesterday, I became that small child when I was playing those games, I told my wife two or three times to not to cross from area between me and the TV screen because I was getting disturb and loosing points there :D. I played, won, loose and giggled about it.

While going back to our place my wife started saying all those dialogues which I used to say her as mentioned in the opening of this post and why shouldn't she, she got such a nice chance to say something same back to me. :D, she was happy, I was happy, we both were happy.

It was fun to play such kind of games till college life, I don't know how and where that charm for these games vanished midst of job, career and family life but it is always fun to somethings which you did in your childhood. Its not like that I was not aware about Nintendo Wii or Xbox but still never purchased them. I still remember that day when my father bought us (me and my brother) our first video game and again he became super dad from just dad :D........ and we started to install it with TV and started fighting to choose who is gonna take first remote.... and...

Pufffffffffffffffffffffffffffff............. ohhh.... I am just back from my old memories. I know I was talking like a kid.

Modernity has stolen the greatest gift to mankind -- Innocence **read it somewhere, don't know who penned it**

Takiya Kalaam (Catch Phrase)

Takiya kalaam a term from Urdu language, used as a metaphor. It roughly  means 'a habit to say particular words (sometimes with no meaning),even when not necessary'.

I believe everyone of us have one such kind of catch phrase and we speak it almost every time when talking to someone with out realizing that we are saying it. It comes so unintentionally that sometimes you say it when it is not supposed to be said in some situations.

These catchphrase gets so attached with you that they become part of your identity and if you have spent some time with a person then you can easily identify him with his catch phrase. Actually, that's how I identified one of my friend :), few days back I received a call from India from a unknown number and the conversation went like this

Me: Hello! this is Ankit speaking.

Friend: Aur be saale, kya haal hein?? (How are you doing man?)

I realized that this must be one of my friend (as most of my friends start talking like this and even I do the same with them, no Hi no Hello direct baat... Seedhi baat, no bakwaas :D) so I replied  in a manner to not to sound like I have not recognized him.

Me: main.... main sahi hoon.... saale tu kaisa he? (I am doing fine dude, how are you?)

Friend: main bhi mast hoon.... saale pehchaana ki nahin pehchaana? (I am fine as well, did you recognize me?)

Now there comes the tough question, the answer was No but I didn't tell him this.

Me: Abe kaisi baat kar rha he, kyun nahin pehchaanuga, bhai he tu. (What are you saying bro, why wouldn't I recognize you?)

Friend: Chalna Kamine, mujhe pta he....nahin pehchaana tune... saale India se bahar jaa kar bhool gya bhai ko. (Oh come on man, I know you have not recognized me, you forgot me after going out of India)

Now, here starts the emotional drama

Me: Abe kaisi baat kar rha he, tujhe kaise bhool sakta hoon? (What are you saying man, how can I forget you)

Friend: accha!! chal naam bta kaun bol rha hoon? (Alright! tell me my name and who am I?)

Oh! now I was caught but still I managed to some more emotional drama

Me: abe kaisi baat kar rha he yaar, tujhe vishwaas nahin he mujh pe, ab kya tujhe naam bataunga tabhi manega tu? ( Come on dude! what are you talking about, don't you believe me? Now, Do I need to tell you your name to make you believe that I have recognized you).

Friend: nahin be... chod, mazak kar rha tha... "Aur bta kya maujh aa rahi he"

"Aur bta kya maujh aa rahi he" suddenly this line ran through all over my brain and my brain indicated that it is familiar with this line, it has heard this line somewhere and then it started Googling for this line in the mind database to find out that associated link or name with this line. Bingo! It give me a name and a smile on my face. 

Me: bas yaar chal rha he asusal, tu bta <yahan maine uska naam liya, mujhe confirm ho jaye ki wo wahi he and use bhi vishwaas ho jaye ki maine use pehchaan liya> kya chal rha he? (nothing new buddy, life is going as usual, you tell me  <here I took his name to confirm myself and also to make him believe that I know who  he is> how is it going at your end ?)

 and the conversation followed.

So this is how an Takiya Kalaam or catchphrase can help you in some situations if you know about them for different person.

One more thing, have you  noticed the English translation of that conversation? Isn't it more funny in English :)

Dil ki nahin Dimaag ki lag gayi...

You know what, I listened this song "Dil ki toh lag gayi" from the Movie Nautanki Saala, I like this song and right from that moment is gaane ne mere dimaag ki lga di he :) although this songs talks about "Dil ki toh lag gayi" :)

Does it ever happened to you that you liked a particular song, heard it 4-5 times and then you feel that this song is playing continuously in your mind every time? Whatever work you are doing your mind is playing this song in background in parallel to giving you inputs to do that work (multiprocessing..) and the moment you start humming or whistling a song then its the same one on your lips. 

It doesn't matter how many times you say STOP!! STOP!! to your mind or try stopping it by putting your finger on upside of your eye (The Rowdy Rathore style) it doesn't stop. Its like conscious mind wants to work and subconscious mind wants to play this song at the same time, two parts of brain competing with each other to see who wins either by distracting me from work completely or getting me concentrated on work completely. Log kehte hein ki apne dimaag ki nahin dil ki suno but sometimes dil k darwaze pe dastak dene pe bhi koi jawab nahin milta lekin aisi situation me to dil bhi kehta he ki "beta, kaam kar le nahin to teri **** lag jayegi". Lastly, feeling irritated and helpless you have to just let your brain fight because dimaag to dimaag he... Dil to pagal he lekin aisi situation me to saala dimaag pagal he.. Nautanki Saala!!

Well, this what happening with me, let's see how long this continues :)

Monday Morning Blues..

Monday, a day to start new week and like most of you I also don't like Monday morning blues. 

I everyday look forward to go to my office and do work but still Monday of every week is the most unmanageable day for me. I don't know what weekend does to my body, every plan or procedures to avoid Monday morning blues gets fail at the moment when I have to wake up in the morning, I don't know how many times my alarm clock goes for snooze round before I actually switch it off.

The hangover of sleep doesn't go very easily, I don't know about you but I usually feel sleepy and lazy whole day and after completing my whole day at office (anyhow..) I just want to fall asleep right after having my dinner so that I can get some extra sleep to compensate the left over sleep of Monday and to avoid Tuesday morning blues but in reality this does not happens most of the time :( . The whole day I felt sleepy and thinking about getting some more sleep but the moment when I try to sleep early on Monday evening I could not, I don't know why my mind plays these strange games with  my body.

The same thing happens on Friday night (I know you must be thinking who sleeps early on Friday night.... well, neither I), the joy and excitement of weekend, the feeling to get lazy just takes the thoughts of sleeping on usual time away on Friday evening :).... isn't it strange? saala kuch to chemical locha he...

Well, you may find many tips and tricks to avoid Monday morning blues but I am sure for most of you they gets fail on the Monday morning.

Are you Facebook Dumb or Facebook Intelligent?

Seriously, tell me are you a Facebook dumb or Facebook intelligent?

Well, if you are not getting what I mean by Facebook dumb or Facebook intelligent and want to know about it then keep reading, otherwise, if you think this is a stupid question or you already know the answer then you may leave this page right away.(If you are leaving then thanks for increasing the visitor counter by one and I hope you come back here again :D)

So, what I meant by Facebook dumb or Facebook intelligent is:- (In my view)

1. A person who uses Facebook with out caring about privacy settings or about the audience of their profile can be categorized as Facebook dumb i.e. a person who post/share anything on their profile mainly photos or their friend's photos with public settings can be considered as Facebook dumb.

2. A person who uses Facebook by taking in to consideration that who is going to be the audience for their each post can be categorized as Facebook intelligent i.e. a person who does not post their personal or their friend's information publicly.

Although, if a person is posting something with public settings on purpose then the above categories are not for them.

If you fall under the first category then keep reading else congratulations you are not Facebook dumb.

Well, through some shared articles or photos on Facebook you might have read about misuse of photos posted by people here. I am not saying that it is totally true but in a rarest case if it is happening than isn't it worth to give a thought about your privacy setting before posting anything especially picture on Facebook?

Posting pictures with public access on social media portals/websites is something like a irreversible process, once you have posted it then it's not sure that it will not exist anymore the moment you delete it.

I am not saying that you should stop posting but always choose what you want to share with public and what with your friends, even Facebook has customized access settings to a very good extent in terms of choosing the audience of your content.

Oftentimes while browsing Facebook I come across many profiles where I saw the entire albums of people who are not in my friends list, I thought they might have album/photos visibility settings set to friends of friends but to my surprise they were posted as public. If I can see them then any body on this Facebook world can see them. This is the situation when I call such profile owners as Facebook dumb.

Well, it may be possible that you are falling in this category unknowingly because there can be many reasons for that. In this era of smart phones and tablets people generally use their smart device to upload photos as it is the most easiest way to share your picture among friends without taking the pain to first transfer pictures from your smart device to desktop/laptop and then upload them manually. It could be one of the reason to categorize one as Facebook dumb.

Facebook application or in fact any other social media applications on Windows, Android and Mac platforms makes this task easy for you, just go to the gallery, select pictures, select share on Facebook/Twitter/Google +, enter your status and done. After pressing button done the application goes in background and upload your pictures to your account but, here, I would like you to keep one thing in mind, you still have to select privacy settings of your album otherwise it will get posted as public.

Well, I am not going to mention or reiterate all the privacy settings of Facebook here as you can refer them there itself but I would like to quote some tips:-

1. Select your audience while posting through any smart device.

2. While uploading your pictures through web interface do check settings. Look for settings button while creating album or adding photos in a album through web interface. When Facebook changes it album creating and photo uploading interface then buttons may get rearranged.

3. When posting through your wall "what's on your mind?" then select your audience before posting.

4. Make separate lists from your friends list to classify your photos, posts among the group. For example, make a list of all family members among whom you can share your personal family photos or make a list of your bff among whom you can share your top secret stuff :).

5. Decide what you want to share with your friends and what with your friend of friend.

6. While tagging your friends check if you are not compromising their security settings.

7. Android devices comes with a feature of instant upload on Google+  i.e. any picture you will click on your phone will get upload automatically from your gallery on Google+. This feature is enabled by default so check your phone settings and disable it if you don't want instant upload.

8. Cover photos are public be default and you can not customize it so decide if you want to post your picture on it.

9. You can select visibility settings of your friends list, albums, which pages or to whom you are following and who all are following you. Select your setting.

10. You can view your profile as your friend i.e. you can check how one of your friend will see your profile, this is an useful facility provided by Facebook to adjust your privacy settings. The default view is set as public.

So, you, Facebook dumb people I hope you get my purpose of writing this post. Now don't be a Facebook dumb, be a Facebook intelligent.