Saale Kaminey!!

Some times when we are in our friend circle and talking with each other on some topic, a situation occurs on which you have experience but you don't want to tell your friends that actually you had experienced it due to fear that all of 'em will make fun of you and but the your innersole is so impatient that you can not control yourself bursting out so you start telling it by taking example of your imaginary friend or an imaginary unknown person. For ex:-

Situation/Topic of discussion: Have you ever been to a ladies loo?

You: " Arey Yaar, I have one friend who mistakenly got in to a ladies loo, he went inside, pissed very calmly as he got into the heaven and he came to know about it when a guy crossed him making some weird expressions on him and entered other door just beside the door from where he was exiting....".

All of your friend burst laughing out on this along with you and you had a thought inside your mind...."Dekha, kaise sab lot pot ho rahe hein....agar main apni sachai bta deta to ye log to mujhe chodte hi nahin". Then, one of your friend ask you "who was he....naam to bta" and then you say "Chodna yaar....naam kya batau". (The person whose fun you just made does not exist so you can't tell a name or may be a name which do not exist in your far far friend list).

There are also other situations with good or bad experiences where we portray ourselves as some other person to hide our truth but there is always one Kamina friend who interprets that its you only and not anybody else although this friend will not expose you in front of every body but later he will surely say to you "Saale Kaminey!! tu hi tha na wo... saale kisi aur ka naam lekar apni kahani suna raha he.... bol should I tell everybody?" :)

Have you ever wondered how many times we have portrayed our self to an imaginary friend or an imaginary unknown person to discuss our own problems, good/bad experiences with our friends and have you figured out your Kamina friend?

Its Awesome.

• Reviving old good memories is good but reviving them with old friends is awesome.
• Having a sip of coffee is good but having it with old friends is awesome.
• Meeting friends is good but meeting very old friends is awesome.
• Having excitement to meet friends is good but saying "Aur batao" again and again to them with a feeling of bursting out is awesome.
• Discussing old bad things is not good but still discussing them again and laughing at them is awesome.
• Mocking some one is not good but recalling our teachers funny names is awesome...

 Spending time with friends is just AwEsOmE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Small IT World.

Most of us who are working in IT industry have heard or even said "It's a small IT world, our paths will cross again", I  realised this saying holds totally valid the moment I met a person in my office.

Eight months back I was striving for a job change, one day my resume got short listed by a very big product based IT company (lets say it as XYZ) in Noida (Sorry, I can't disclose the name) and they schedule me for a Face to Face interview. I was very excited and little bit nervous about my F2F interaction as this is the company for which I always wanted to work. On the scheduled day (which was going to be a big day for me) and time, I was there sitting on the couch, reading faces of other candidates, inhaling and exhaling to keep myself cool and waiting for my call to have F2F interaction. Half an hour passed and I was called for the interview, I entered the room, one skinny man and one short guy was there and things got started.

It was a good shot from my side in Linux and programming although I was not able to give two answers from the shell scripting. I thought shell scripting part will not matter but I never imagined in my dreams that my lack of knowledge of two shell script commands will really matter.....Yes, I was not selected and my feedback was "Candidate is not good in shell scripting". By just asking two commands in shell scripting they decided my fate with that company. My expectations and excitement got shattered like a glass fell from a window pane from 20th floor of a building. I came out from premises of that company, looked back and said "Better luck next time big boy and Fuck those interviewers, they are not capable enough to see your capabilities".

My job change spree continued, after a month My company got some new requirements and they included me in the interview panel for hiring new people, so, I was taking interviews and giving interviews outside :).

          On a Weekend Walk-in drive, I was there in my company taking interviews. I got resume of one candidate, I went to the waiting area and called up the name, the person holding that name stood up and I was completely flabbergast  to see him as he was the same short guy who took my interview in that big company XYZ and rejected me for not answering two shell script command.

When he saw me, he also got that who I am and what he did to me.......OMG!!....what the moment it was... I intentionally saw him from top to bottom to top and asked him to follow me. While I was leading him towards interview room I was giggling, jumping on my feets, my eyes were gleaming like Devil's eyes and I was thanking to god for giving me this auspicious chance to take my revenge. The only thing which was roaming in my mind is "Aaja Beta, aaj table ulti ghoom gayi he....main batata hoon tujhe interview kise kehte hein". When he was sitting in front of me, my teeth were pressuring each other from top to bottom, my fingers were clenched together, I was thinking like what should I do to him but my professional etiquettes asked me to control....

I took his interview for 1.5 hours, asked him load of questions making him pale and gave my decision to HR team. I took my revenge and I didn't took my revenge.

This was my first experience of small IT world.

After Diwali 2010, I relocated myself to a new rented house in a society and you won't believe that one fine morning in my society I met that guy again. We crossed each other by looking each others face, we didn't talked but our silence talked a lot.

So, it is not only IT world which is small in fact whole world is small.

PS: Those who know me well  can figure out what exactly I did to him, rejected or selected.

Addiction.

This morninn I was thinking about it and asking myself, what is Addiction? and that moment the Pantry boy of my office came and placed a cuppa tea on my desk. I was looking at this cuppa tea whether I should take it or not, suddenly, I felt that my heart and my brain are talking to each other and saying some thing to me.The conversation as follows:-

 

Heart: take it.

Brain: Don't take it, you already had two since morning and this'll  be your third.

Heart: C'mon dude! grab that nicotine liquid before it cools down.

Brain: Heart, why are you forcing him to take that, it'll harm you.

Heart: Dear Brain, I am insisting him to take it because it'll make you feel relax. You are the master of the body after all, you need to work so hard for every part of the body.

Brain: Nice to know that you care for me but if m the master then you should listen to me.

Heart: Don't you worry Boss, I'll make a situation in which this body will do some work out and that hazardous nicotine will get digest.

Brain: Are you sure about creating such situation?? I have not seen a situation up till now where I need to send a signal to this body to do workout.Ultimately, I need to take care of all mangled things in night when this lazy, careless body is sleeping.

Heart: Boss, you crib so much...don't you.....c'mon grow up....trust me... send signal to hand to grab that cuppa tea.

 

and I grabbed that tea and gulped it.So, I feel that addiction is something which your heart always ask you to do again and again being it  for tea/coffee, cigarette, alcohol and..............love.

Technically, our Brain is controlling us but logically our heart is controlling our brain and supersedes it sometime (may be all the time).

 

PS: Yes, I am addicted to Tea.

Dear My Love.

Dear (Yet to be come) My Love,

Where ever you are on this planet, I wish you a very Happy Valentine Day
and I hope you will celebrate this day in a same manner as I am
celebrating it from the past 26 years.
To be a lil bit more romantic, every year is a valentine year, every
month is a valentine month, every day is a valentine day and every hour
is a valentine hour (skipping minutes,seconds and nano seconds) but
let's stick to this single day to celebrate it with whole world.

I hope we will meet soon (although 26 years have passed in waiting) and
make a gr8 pair to remove the tag "Single" from our social public profiles.

Till then buy yourself a good dinner, a bunch of flowers, a good gift
and enjoy this full of love day.

Your's Eagerly and Desperately Waiting.
Ankit

शेरिंग ऑटो का सफ़र

*** मैं करीब तीन साल तीन महीने बाद शेरिंग ऑटो में बेठा तो इनमे  बिताये पुराने सफ़र के कुछ अनुभव याद आ गए जिनको मैं नीचे लिख रहा हूँ.***

 

शेरिंग ऑटो का सफ़र,

छोड़ता हर किसी के मन पे अपना असर.

 

इसके  सफ़र का अनुभव,

हे अपने आप में एक अनोखा अनुभव.

 

इसमें बेठ कर मज़ा आता हें खाने में हवा,

पर जब ड्राईवर पीछे खड़े होने को कह दे तो हो जाती हें ख़राब हवा.

 

इस ऑटो में सफ़र की क्या बात हो,

जब हिमेश रेशमियां के गानों के साथ आपके सफ़र की शुरुवात हो.

 

ऑटो एक पहिये पे चार लोग आधारित हैं,

तभी तो कुल मिलकर तीन पहियों पे बारह लोग सवार हैं.

 

अपना हाथ दिखायें ऑटो ज़रूर रुक जायेगा,

जगह हो या न हो पर आपको ज़रूर ले जायेगा.

 

ऑटो में ठूंस ठूंस कर बेठ्तें हें सब,

फिर भी मोबाइल फ़ोन जेब से निकलने की जद्दो जेहत करते हें सब.

 

कहीं बच्चों की चिल्लम चिल्ली,

तो कहीं ट्राफ्फिक के होर्न की पी पाँ पीपी.

 

कहीं नैन मटक्का,

तो कभी  बगल में बेठे पेसेंज़र से धक्का.

 

कहीं इंडियन पोलिटिक्स / क्रिकेट टीम पे फंडे ,

तो कभी ऑटो रिकक्षा ड्राईवर से पैसो को लेकर पंगे.

 

कभी बगल से जा रही गाडी से ड्राईवर को गाली,

तो कभी सबसे पीछे बेठे पस्सेंगेर ने को ऑटो रोकने के लिए तीन चार बार आवाज़ मारी.

 

कभी सामने वाले के पेरों में अपने पेर फसां कर बेठना,

तो कभी किसी आंटी का ज़बरदस्ती अपने बच्चे को आपके पेरों पे बिठाना.

 

यह ड्राईवर भी अजीब कमाल करते हैं,

सीट खाली  हो तो आपको पीछे बिठाते हैं और अगर कोई मैडम आ जाये तो आपको आगे आधा बहार और आधा अन्दर बेठने को बुलाते हैं.

 

ड्राईवर का बोलने का मिजाज़ भी अलग हे,

हमको भैया और लड़की को मैडम का अंदाज़ ही अलग हैं.

 

हमने क्या इज्ज़त कहीं बेच खायी हें,

क्या सिर्फ लड़कियों ने ही ऑटो में इज्ज़त पायी हें.

 

भैया तो बात ऐसी हें,

इन शेरिंग ऑटो में सफ़र करना हें निराला,

आपको जल्दी न हो तो टाइम पास करने को इसमें ज़रूर जाना.

नोट: ऊपर लिखी पंक्तियों को हिंदी में लिखने के लिए गूगल transliteration का प्रयोग किया गया हें.

Things With in us

Hey Guys! Below I am putting some points which are with in all of us. I was observing these points or situations from quite a long time and I feel below mentioned points are applicable for both M and F so here they are:-

- Night club/disc me party karna aur subah uth kar hangover chai pee kar utarna.

- Public transport me thodi aged ladies aas pass ho to apni seat pe beth kar sone ka natak
karna.

- Daaru pee kar sabko apna bhai banana aur saare daring waale cheeze karna.

- Kisi khoobsurat ladki/ladke ko ek tak takna aur jab wo ek baar galti se hume dekh le to use
attitude dikhana.

- Apne parents k per (feets) na chue but jab kisi dost k parents aa jaye to sabse pehle aage badhkar unke per (feets) choona.

- Kisi ladki/ladka se apne crush ka ya pyar ka izhaar na karna aur apne aap ko FOSLA group me shaamil karna.

- Jab apne kisi dost ko koi particular cheez na mile to use yeh kar dilasa dena "Chodna yaar,
wo cheez tere liye thi nahin....tu is se acchi cheez deserve karta he" aur jab koi cheez khud ko na mile to mann hi mann us cheez k liye tadapna.

- Apne gang me hamesha kisi ek dost ki lena aur agar us dost ko koi problem ho jaye to us
problem ko solve karne me apni jee jaan ek kar dena.

- Dhabe pe beth kar child labour pe discussion karna aur tabhi saath me kehna "Oye chotu, 4
chai de de yaar".

- Indian cricket team match haar jaye to poori Indian cricket team to goli se udaane ki baat
karna lekin jab team match jeet jaye to unhi k liye pagalo ki tarah sadak pe naachna.

- Paani hamesha direct bottle se peena aur kehna "Yaar jo maza paani bottle se direct peene me
aata he wo maza glass se peene me kahan."

- Apni girlfriend se jayada apni bike ko pyaar karna.

- Apne favourite Actor ki picture lagi ho to Multiplex me baar baar band darwaze ki taraf dekhna aur uske khoolne ka intezaar karna.

- Traffic police waalon ko hamesha gaaliyan dena aur jab khud pakde jaaye to unhe Sir Sir bol
ke izzat dena aur rishwat dena.

- Apna koi dost jab chod kar jaa raha ho to use Good Bye ya Have a safe journey na kehna balki
use kehna "Beta tu nikal le ab yahan se...aur rukega to pitega aur phir yahi rahega".

- Hostel me ghoom ghoom kar Hero banke sabko koi subject padhana aur phir usi subject me khud back pana.

- Group me beth kar kisi ladki/ladke k baare me discussion karna aur wohi ladki/ladka apne
group k kisi ek memeber se baat kar le to phir us group member ki m** be**n ek karna.

- Apne desh me hote hue bhi Aapas me English me baat karna (although I am also writing it in English :)).

- Hamesha cool banna lekin jab ladai ho ya Gussa aaye to Jangal k sher ki tarah dahadna.

- Kisi ek lane me traffic jam lag jaye to bina soche samjhe sabko smartness dikhate hue wrong side me ghoos jana.

I believe there are plenty of such more points which can be metioned here. I hope you must have came across in your life with above mentioned points.