On My 26th Birthday..

• The day was Monday and it was not a regular Monday. It was a Holy Monday which is devoted to Lord Shiva and Parvati (Savan ka Somwar).
• Sun was shining high with cool breeze, the day was good.
• I completed my 26 years of life.
• Got Birthday Bumps from friends.
• I had a very delicious Fruit cake and French White Wine.
• Got Telephonic calls from some unexpected and did  not get call from some expected.
• Got The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown as my birth day gift from my Bro.
• Got 62 Birth day wishing posts on my social networking pages.
• Got Birthday wishing sms from my cell phone service provider, from the store where I usually do shopping, from one of the IT MNC where I have registered my self, From a restaurant. (I think they all are following CRM policies).
• I was missing mysteriously for 2.5 hrs.
• I was missing some of my friends who are no longer near by me.
• I was thinking about the life of past 26 years and the life of next 26 years.
• I was thinking about some of the responsibilities which may come to my shoulders in a year or two.
• I was thinking about the one who is still hidden from me in some part of this small world.
• I was trying to figure out what I have become in these 26 years.
• I enjoyed dinner with friends and a movie SALT (which was pathetic).

I was thinking too much…

Check out Staff--COS

***Disclaimer: Some content of this post is referred from Internet so it might be possible that you have already read few lines written below.***

Big Bazaar and other Super Stores (SupSto) have provided a new way of shopping which provide comfortable shopping to shoppers. All the items are exposed and arranged in racks/open shelves so that shopper does not have to ask for any help and they can pick whatever they want.

Notice anything the last time you went to the supermarket? An irritatingly long queue, perhaps? Or a mispriced product? But what about the woman or man - at the checkout counter, performing one of the most thankless tasks in modern society? Did you return him/her greeting or ignore him/her as you hurried to put away the debit card and pick the shopping which is made into pack by a assistant at check out counter? Few would blame you if you did. After all, how many of us bother to pay attention to the silent underclass scanning bar codes for low pay and little thanks?

They used to say “Good Morning or Thank you and have a nice day” 250 times a day (approximately); few shoppers bothered to reply.

They would scan up to 21,000 products a week, lift 800kg an hour and ask customers for Cash or card 200 times a day for payment. They have to scan 17 items per minute (IPM). 'If they don't maintain their IPM then Store Manager will find it out.

All their actions are accountable; CCTV, electronic monitoring, assessments, clocking in and out, customer and colleague feedback. With cameras in every nook and cranny, there is no escape for them. Even customers are watched through one sided mirrors as a surveillance to avoid thieving and pick pocketing.

The interesting thing in a SupSto is view of every customer's shopping cart or basket which is a privileged intrusion into their lives, and it quickly lends itself to the worst kind of cod psychology. For example:-

1. Take the single woman in her 30s buying the few carrot, 4 onions, one pack of small bread, one milk packet and single 100 grams of butter so here we can already see her night in with dinner-for-one followed by vegetable sandwich with tea or coffee or her breakfast with the same dish.

2. A totally exhausted man with the heavy bags under his eyes quietly purchasing Lactose, nappies and Juices for the new baby and mother at home.

3. The lonely middle-aged people with very few items, who gets through them in their entire day.

4. Two boys or girls with Shopping cart full of items would be bachelors residing with other room mates and who collect food items on weekend for the month or for the coming week.

For the elderly in particular, the supermarket illustrates just what a big challenge modern life is becoming to them. They struggle with the credit card pin pad and forget their numbers. Often, as they try for the second or third time, their hands tremble with nerves. (In those moments, I wish if SupSto could accept cheques).None of them comes in at the weekends because the scale of the supermarket, the overwhelming choice and the crowds make it too frightening a place for them. They hate trying to pack their goods up into bags, knowing that the people queuing behind them are cursing them for being slower.
There are a lot of health problems in this job - tendonitis, lumbago, that sort of thing. There is a lot of depression as well because you're completely ignored by everyone: by your managers and by the customers. After a while you become convinced that you're less than nothing. The worst thing happens to them when one of the parents scolds their child to complete their homework otherwise they will turn up like a check out staff.

There were the shoppers:-

1. Who sneakily took 11 or 12 products to the ten-items-or-fewer express checkout (some times I also do that).
2. Then there were those who left empty trolleys by the counter to book a place at the front of the queue; who tried to get out with CDs hidden in their boxes of Camembert.
3. Then there were those who arrived ten minutes after the store had closed; or who vented their anger on COS because they thought - mistakenly - that COS was overcharging them; or who ignored them as they marched past the check out counter while talking on their mobile phones.
4. There were also some impatient men waiting in line shouts from the back of the queue: 'I only stood here because I thought it would be quicker’ and due to his impatience he throws down his basket and storms off. (Well, I am not exactly one of them but once upon a time, I put my basket aside and stormed off when I found that there is a long queue on express counter).
5. Then there were those who scold COS about charging over price on an item and threatening them to Sue this SupSto in Consumer Court, they do not see that some body has mistakenly entered the wrong price of that product in the centralized database and COS has authority to correct the bill.

Some people behave in a supermarket as though they were in their living room. “It's quite amazing.” some customers unashamedly, in front of every one, finished the sandwiches/chocolates that they had taken off the shelves; others downed bottles of juice and cola in a nook of the store. A few even managed to have sex in the aisles. (Only seen in the SupSto out of India).

When you come out of the SupSto it feels like winning a battle especially on weekends. We feel good that we saved some money and shopped good items at cheaper price but we overlooked the fact that how much energy we have lost, how frustrated we were inside (even in air cooled SupSto) and how confused we were in picking up items from the store which actually results in unwanted items and more Rupees out of your wallet.

Next time you go to a SupSto please greet the COS, they are human too and if they don’t greet you then please don’t be rude on them.

How to Check out Chromosome XX

***Disclaimer: Intention of this post is not to hurt any ones feeling. Chro XX please don’t get furious take it as just for laugh instead. You will be smiling after reading this post.***

We the members of ChhichCom (Chhichhora Community is a group of chhichoras that was formally founded in Southern part of  India, Chennai) never leave a single chance to stare or check out a damsel and we all act as wing man (like Barney Stinson) to each other whenever Biological chromosome XX is spotted.

Below I am documenting different tricks and ways to check out Chro XX without getting noticed and looking stupid, it may be possible that some of you already know these but this will be helpful to new joiners in ChhichCom.

Golden Rule: You can not stare or check out a XX alone, you must inform your buddy/ies who are with you at that time.

Use of Mathematics:-

Pre-requisite: knowledge of angles.

Area of Use: Anywhere.

Example:

1. Hey bro, Check out the XX with short hairs sitting at 90 degrees behind you.

2. Check out the XX with Goggles on her head sitting at 45 degrees to your left.

Use of  Cutlery items:-

Pre-requisite: knowledge of eating by knife.

Area of Use: Restaurants,parties.

Example:-

1. Hey bro, Check out the XX with short hairs sitting at 90 degrees behind you.

Now, you don’t have to turn around while you are eating. Take your knife in your hand and put in such position so that you can see behind your back from the knife itself. If you are not able to see by your knife than ask your wing man to do so.

Use of Mirrors:-

Pre-requisite: Mirror or glass should be available around you.

Area of Use: Road,trains.

Example:-

1. If you are inside train and there is a XX in your coupe than see her through the Mirror installed on the window, this way your eyes will not get caught by fellow passengers.

2. If you are in traffic and a XX is inside a vehicle like Auto-rickshaw or car, adjust your side mirror to have a glance of her.

Use Of Camera:-

Pre-requisite: Mobile/Digital camera with zoom functionality.

Area of Use: Anywhere.

Example:-

Take out your digital camera and try to take photo of some object (it should look like you are taking a photo).Look at XX through its eye piece or in your mobile screen, zoom at desired level as per requirement.

Other general tips:-

1. If you want to get a feel of how a girl looks, make one quick glance and check to see if she's looking your way. If she is not, look again and look up and down fairly quickly (not too fast cause you won't gain any info, but not so slow that everyone notices) and then turn away.

2. Wait until she's busy. There's a great chance she won't catch you looking at her when she isn't paying attention or busy in something.

3. Take the help of a wing man. Guys never hunt alone anyway, so when you want to check out girls without their noticing, your buddies become your best defense. Sit next to each other at the bar/resto and face each other while having a conversation. While you may appear to be looking at your friend, you're really checking out the girls behind him.

4. Just look. Sometimes the best way to look innocent is just to go for it. Have a peek and check out the girl. She may not be used to such a direct look and either she'll think that you're looking at someone else.

I hope above methods/ways/tricks will help you to check out a XX next time. I may write a second part of this post once I have some more ideas about checking out a chromosome XX with out looking stupid. I am trying to act like a wing man to all members of ChhichCom. Let’s all seek blessings from the world’s greatest, Legendary and most awesome wing man Barney Stinson and let’s jump in the field.

It’s gonna be Legen……wait for it…..dary…….

Ping Pong on IT Table.

You must have played ping pong on TT table but have you played or seen ping pong on IT table? Those who are working in IT organizations may have seen this or may be even played this game.

In this game everybody try to pass the ball in other’s court just like as a real ping pong game. We all want to stay away from politics but if we just brush off the dust than you will find that we all are part of politics in same manner, may be intentionally or unintentionally.

Let’s take this game in form of a conversation between Company X, Y and Z from India, Belgium and Sweden respectively who are collaboratively working for a product where company Y is the boss/client of company X and company Z. Employee A, B and C are working for Company X,Y and Z respectively.

B@Y: Hello Gentleman, I hope everybody is in this conference to start this status meeting for the progress and updates of product “Atlantis”.

B@Y: We have observed that in past few weeks performance of product “Atlantis” get degraded, do you guys have any inputs on this. (Service)

C@Z: Yes, we have also observed this. May be this is due to the latest changes in the software from X. (Ping towards A)

Now A@X has to Pong on this to save his ass,he said:-

A@X: C, why do you think so? The changes in our software were made according to specification of your software, if your software is not taking these changes which are although suggested by you than what can we do in this and as we know, in the latest release the major changes were in your software so might be some change is leaking to degrade the performance. (Pong towards C).

B@Y: C, A got a point, will you ask your team take a look again the changes made for this release? A please ask your team also to review the changes at their side once again.

A got first point here.

B@Y: Let’s move on to the issue18765, C, this issue was identified at your end so what is the progress on this? (Service).

This is an ace for C and they have nothing to ping on this so again A got another point.

C@Z: We are still looking in to it, we are not able to reproduce this issue till now, as soon as we reproduce this we will have a fix.

B@Y: I am looking at issue56781. A, what is the status of this? (Service).

A@X: We have the fix of this issue but we need some inputs from dev team at Z to make the fix more robust. (Ping towards C).

C@Z: A, we have already provided some inputs on this as requested by your team, do you need more inputs? (Pong towards A).

A@X: Well, I will check with my team. (Point goes to C)

B@Y: A, we need this fix ASAP so please check this with your team.

Score up till now A on 2 and C on 1. B@Y played few more services and score was A on 4 and C on 4.

B@Y: As I mentioned in the email which I sent on last week Friday, we need functionality 10 in the upcoming release, Have you both discussed it with each other? (Service ).

A@X: Yes B, we have internally reviewed the requirements and we also sent some requirements of our software to dev team at Z to integrate functionality 10. Now we are waiting for information from Z so that we can move on. (Ping towards C).

A got the point but suddenly C ponged

C@Z:A, to provide that information we need high level logic of your software. We need to better understand how your software is working than only we will be able to provide that information as both software are tightly coupled with each other to achieve functionality 10.

and C got the point and game got deuce here.

B@Y: A, please first provide  the required high level logic of your software to C.

C get advantage.

A@X: B, it’s not possible, those documents are under NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement).

game again got deuce.

B@Y: C, as A mentioned that these docs are under NDA so I need to discuss this matter with higher management and then I will let you know about the availability of these documents.

B@Y: Okay Guys we are going good here so let us meet again next week at same time.

What happened above is just ping pong of things between two parties while one party is acting as mediator. No one won the game and at the end all things were good.These things happens when ping pong is played on IT table.

Lady in the Gogs

Why BPO section of a company have more pretty girls as compared to IT section? This imbalance of pretty girls leads IT guys to woo every other pretty girl walking down in the company premises.
Whenever a new girl get spotted in the company premises, two speculations are made:-
1. If she is looking like every other girl i.e. a girl in formals (not very stylish cloths) with less makeup carrying a descent hand bag than she is in the IT department.
2. If she is looking like a girl with Sun glasses either on her eyes or on her head, having more makeup, funky hand bag and stylish cloths than she is in BPO department.
When speculation second is valid than all eyes escorts her un till the moment she disappears.
Some Software firms maintains male to female ratio in a team and some do not believe in such kind of ratio, I am working in the second type of software firm so whenever a new girl walks down on the floor all guys who were working very seriously in their respective module do not miss the chance to have a glance at new girl apart from the fact that before hearing the news about that new girl they were completely lost in their screen.
One fine day we were discussing about something and all team members except one were facing towards the window and the one was facing towards the bay (space between two cubicles which is used to commute on the floor), during the discussion he suddenly rose his eye brows and his eyes became wide. This gesture of him was enough for all of us to conclude that he just saw a new good looking girl on our floor.We all asked him “What is it ??” he said “A girl in the Gogs..”
We all turned our face backwards and 10 eyes were searching for that girl, one team mate asked him “Where? in which direction…” he left his chair and said “I am gonna check whether she is release version 1.0 or 2.0”. I know, now you must be wondering what does release version 1.0 or 2.0 means w.r.t a girl. Well, release version 1.0 means a unmarried girl so there are more chances to date her apart from the possibility that she is already having a boy friend or not, release version 2.0 means a married girl who become a lady so chances to date her is negligible.
All the guys who saw her were curious and all were trying to find out answer of one question which is “does she came for a interview or to join our project ?” and answer of this question depends in which room she went to i.e. if she is in a room where managers conduct interview than she is for interview and if she is in a room of big boss then she is definitely joining the project.
In the mean time our colleague came back and said “Guys, get back to work, she is 2.0 and came for a interview and yeah….she is Lady in the Gogs”…..oh man….c’mon…. this was the reaction of our team.I know this is a stupid thing but it is within all of us.
There is also one thing in IT offices, if a girl is really good looking than you will find this in first glance but if a girl is not really good looking and when you saw her then following things happen:-
Day 1: Ahaan, New girl.
Day 2: She is not good looking.
Day 3: She is Okay but not that much good looking.
.
.
Day 7:  She is Okay but not that much good looking.
Day 8: Okay, she is not good looking but she is a nice girl.
Day 9: C’mon man, I talked to her, she is a nice girl.
.
.
Day 20: Although she is not beautiful but she is really nice, intelligent and fun to be with girl.You will definitely get impressed if you talk to her.
Day 21: You will forget what you said in first seven days for this girl.
Day 25: You are trying to get some moments with her may be a coffee in pantry or just some project related talks.
Day 30: You will slightly fall for her but not completely (still at safe place).
Bottom line: You think a particular girl is not very beautiful but if you start seeing/interacting her every day then your views about that girl will change.
I believe this is a story of every IT house when a girl or Lady in the Gogs or may be without Gogs walks down the floor.

Congiri or Emotional Atyachar

At some point of time in daily life we all have been to some kind of emotional atyachar or congiri and I think this is due to the fact that we all (Indians) are God fearing instead of God loving.(may be you are thinking that how nature of relation to the god and con/emotional blackmail are related to each other…well this is a different part….let’s not take it here).

One fine afternoon, after having my lunch I was walking down the street, I came across a old woman who was wearing very dirty cloths with body full of wrinkles.She begged to me for money so that she can have her lunch, I again looked her and she seemed to be craving for food. I took out my wallet and I was about to give her 10 bucks but then I refrained myself, I thought it would be impossible for her to get some food in just 10 bucks so I gave her 20 bucks instead.I was also thinking, what if she is conning me and she don’t need to have lunch but the money, I asked  her where she is going to take lunch (Well, I know that was a preposterous question but I was eager to verify that was she really hungry) and she pointed me towards one road side eatery centre.

I gave her 20 bucks and turned back to the way where I was going, I was still thinking was she really hungry? should I go back and cross check whether she is taking the lunch or she successfully conned me for 20 bucks. Well, here I was in dilemma, cross checking her seemed to be a mistake and not cross checking her also seemed to be a mistake so either way I was doing a mistake but yes it’s a mistake, i know it’s a mistake but there are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but before doing this mistake you don't really know it’s a mistake because the only way to really know it’s a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say yep...that was the mistake.So really...the bigger mistake would be not to make a mistake because than you go in your whole life not really knowing if something is mistake or not (I know, I used mistake a lot here) so I went back to cross check.

I found that she did not went to take her lunch and she was conning again some one else so that she can have more  money…what a emotional atyachar on all.I went to her (she looked pale by looking at me) and I asked her to give my 20 bucks back otherwise I will take her to police for conning people (I knew that taking her to police is not going to do anything and I was not going to Police for 20 bucks but that dialogue was to make her scared), she started her emotional atyachar dialogues, I asked her that why she told me that she was hungry, just to gain sympathy so that she can fetch out more money… she had no answer.

I took her to the same road side eatery where she pointed just few minutes ago and asked her to eat food there, I stood there until she finished her lunch. Her lunch cost her 10 bucks (so I did a mistake to give her 20 bucks), I asked her to pay 10 bucks for her lunch and to keep rest of 10 bucks.

May be I am so concerned or cruel on her as it was a matter of just 20 bucks which is not a big deal but I was happy that I did two mistakes and from both these mistakes I came to know about two things:-

1. In just 10 bucks you can have your lunch at a low grade eatery stall if you are not conscious about hygiene and your vitality.

2. By doing second mistake I came to know that I made a mistake (the first one).

Yeh Mumbai he meri jaan

May be most of you already know this story but those who do not know about this story, read on to have some laugh.

Read on... for the ones who have to travel through train...

A recent incident saw one such hapless victim falling prey to the overenthusiastic nature of Bombay's local train commuters. Our hero, a man from Pune, wanted to go to Matunga, but as luck and trains would have it, boarded a fast train not halting at his destination. He panicked on realizing his mistake but by then the local had started moving. On seeing his plight, a sympathetic co-passenger decided to come to his rescue. It seemed that he had been commuting by that particular train (6:03pm Kasara Fast) for the past 6 years and had noticed that the train always slowed down just before Matunga station and crawled at a snail's pace while passing through it. He told the man to jump out of the running train as it slowed down and that with a little bit of fleet-footedness, he would make it safely on terra firma. However, knowing the man's inexperience, he added some words of caution: "Keep running the moment you jump or you'll fall. Just keep running." He stressed the word "running" lest the man not know the laws of motion.

The train did slow down just before Matunga station and at the prompting of his mentor, our hero jumped out of the train and started running as if all hell had broken loose. What he didn't realize, of course, was that he was running parallel to the train instead of running away from it. Meanwhile, the train slowed down further, so that the man was running faster than the train. In the process, he reached the door of the next compartment and the footboard commuters there pulled him in thinking he was trying to board the train! To his agony, the train picked up speed and sped past Matunga and his new co-passengers started to congratulate him on how lucky he had been, until he told them that they had actually undone what he had done with great difficulty.

Those standing at the door of his "ex-compartment" had witnessed the whole drama and just couldn't stop laughing at the poor man's situation, while he grinned sheepishly.

Yeh Mumbai he meri jaan....sure u've had a hearty laugh urself... :)

PS: Source of this Post: Forwarded E-mail.