Jaaaabooooong

From quite a long time I was planning to surprise Palak with some unexpected gift without any occasion and I was wondering how should I do it. Initially I thought to go on some online website and order something online and  get it deliver at home but then the *typical thinking of not doing trust* on websites which sell products overshadowed my plan.

*Typical thinking of not doing trust means ki 

-pta nahin jo product website pe dikha rahe hein waise hi deliver karenge ya nahin, 
-kya pta paise to le lein but time pe deliver karenge ya nahin, 
-Deliver karenge bhi ya nahin,
- Agar product defective ya fit nahin aaya to main kahan tak inke peeche bhagunga to return it or get it exchange,
- Website waale 30 days return policy kehte to he but phir us time ko courier karne ke paise bharo.

I have to have gift her something secretly and I was wondering whether should I go to the mall chupke se with out her knowledge and bring something for her but then suddenly advertisement of www.Jabong.com flashed in to my mind in which a man was hiding in some closet and told that Jabong.com offers cash on delivery(COD), Free delivery and 30 days return policy for free with full money return on no question basis (i.e. you do not have to pack the received item and take it to courier company to send it to office of Jabong.com on your expense, you just need to call their customer care and tell them that you need to return the ordered item, their pick up executive will come at your door step and take your item for return).

If you are getting such services at your door step then is there any need to move your ass out of your comfort zone? Simply click karo, order karo and ghar bethe apne man chaha item pao. This is provided by www.jabong.com

I changed my mind and I took the initiative to change my thinking towards e shopping by giving it a try and I ordered a pair of bellies for her from the wide variety and range offered by Jabong.com. The order got delivered with in one day may be because it got delivered from Gurgaon and the distance from Gurgaon to Noida is short, the quality and packing of the box was good

and when she opened above packing and saw her pretty bellies she literally did Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! like the girl did in the Jabong.com's advertisement.

Websites like www.jabong.com are making people to buy those things which are not available in the markets of their city. This websites is helpful for people in small cities and small town to purchase things which they have not seen in their neighborhood and of course the people in big cities are enjoying these services without leaving their comfort zone.

I think its time when you can make your near and dear one do Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Ye Software kya he? Hota kya he ye?... Some Myths about IT Industry.

Ek baat batao, ye software kya he? Matlab hota kya he ye software?

Very logical question but how many time you have come across this question and have you answered this question and succeeded to make other person understand what is a software ?

Once you answer above question next comes what software does your company make?

Again a very logical and layman question but I think this one is more easy then the first one, isn’t it?

Coming across non-IT friends, relatives, strangers  you will notice that the moment you say that you are an IT guy, they have already made some assumptions about you which are some myths and some actuality. Some of the common myths which I come across are:-

Myth #1: If you haven't been onsite you are a loser.

Uncle:     Tum 3 saal se IT company mein kaam kar rahe ho na?
Me:           Ji uncle.
Uncle:     Tum videsh nahi gaye?
Me:           Nahi uncle project mein requirement nahi  hai onsite ki
Uncle:     Lekin woh Mahesh ko toh maanna padegaa.... vo chote sheher se hai..... aise hi kisi private 
                  college se degree ki and then job me usne jamke mehnat ki aur use company ne  USA bheja!   
                  Mehnat ka fal use mila he.

Hmmm!! That’s the problem. People think about software industry that the one who is smart and hard working are sent on site while the loser ones are the people left behind in India. So, the assumption is that if you haven't been on site then you don't work hard nor you have any kind of sincerity and.…. bas abhi k liye itna kaafi he :)

Myth #2: If you are not working under a big IT name you are a loser.

Auntyji:  Beta kya kaam karte ho? 

Me:       Aunty main Software company me kaam karta hoon?

Auntyji : Accha!! Beta, kaunsi company me?

Me:          Ji Aunty!! Main <company name> is company me kaam karta hoon.

Auntyji: Ye kaun si company he? Kabhi suna nahi? Kaha hai  ye? 
(Embarrassing me and asking all this as if she knows all things about software companies)

Me:           Ji Aunty, Ye….
Auntyji:  Tumko TCS/Wipro ya Infosys mein nahi mila kya? (In short: you are a dumb ass) 

After that I have to make efforts to tell them how I actually work in a much niche technology. In case the opposite person is technologically insane then I give him some product development 'funda' with my arrogance.

Myth #3: If you are an IT guy then you can fix any computer, calculator and may be clocks too.

 Friend:     Bhai, tu ek din ghar aaja, mere computer me kuch kharabi ho gayi he, tu dekh 

                   le.

Me:           Bhai, usme me kya dekhunga?

Friend:     Abey!! Tu to software company me kaam karta he aur tu aise keh rha he, tujhe 

                  nahin pta hoga to aur kise pta hoga?

Me:           Bhai, hardware related problem hogi to main kahan se dekhunga, I am not 

                  hardware expert…. Haan agar kuch settings related problem he to bta.

Friend:     Yaar  mujhe nahin pta tu kya bol rha he…tu ek baar aaja.

Well, actually I enjoy fixing things but most of the IT guys around must have at least faced a situation where a friend asked him to fix his /her comp. The task can be from installing a software (double click, next, next, finish) to fixing a computer which gives electric shocks when its metal areas are touched.

Myth #4:  Working in IT, you have lots of money.

Once my parents went to a family friend’s house at evening tea and there
Auntyji:     aur Bhabhiji, bête ne car le legi ho ab to?

Mom:        arey bhabhiji!! Kahan abhi car lega wo…. Hum to soch rahe hein uski bike 

                   bhijwa de wahan… public transport se travel karne badi dikkatein he 

                   Delhi/Noida me. 

Auntyji:     arey kya baat kar rahe ho aap. Aapka beta to Software company me kaam 

                   karta he… wo chahe to aapko car dila dey and aap usko uski purani bike bhejne 

                   ki baat kar rahe ho.

Mom:        Arey nahin, aisa nahin he…abhi to use job karte hue 2 saal hi hue hein… 

Ab who is going to tell them ki bete ki apni salary me se abhi bike khareedne ki aukat nahin he aur ye car ki baat kar rahe hein.

Myth #5:  Software job means a job in comfort.

Non IT people:   Arey!! Ye software company ka job mast hota he re. Pure din Air Conditioned me bethe raho aaram se aur computer pe chick chick karte raho (people sit nicely in front of computer and just punch the keys)

Well I don't completely disagree khaas tor se in summer season: D

Myth #6: You are working in Software company so get married.

Old people:     Arey ab to badiya kama rha he computer ki naukri me…ab iski shaadi kar 

                         do!!

Ek mahine ki salary akele insaan ka kharcha nahin nikalta, do log kahan se khayenge? J

Myth #7: Your office is more like a factory

People from different field (PFDF)

PFDF:     Kahan he tumhari factory?

Me:         Factory???

PFDF:    haan!! Factory, jahan tum jaate ho software banane.

Me:        Sector 59, Noida me.

PFDF:    Accha!! Naveda me he, kitne mazdoor he tumhari factory me?

Me:        honge karib 1000-1200 k aas pass

PFDF:    Arey!! Itne saare mazdoor tab to bahut badi hogi tumahri factory.

Me:        haan!!

PFDF:    Itne saare log lagein hein yo ek software banane me?

Me:        haan (jhooth bolne me bhalai he nahin to samjhane me dimaag phat jayega)

It looks weird to refer a software office as a factory but logically dekha jaaye to thik bhi he and hum log hein to mazdoor hi bas difference itna he ki we do mazdoori in air conditioned environment while other mazdoor do it in natural environment.

Myth #8: You know everybody in your office.

When you tell anybody that you work with XYZ Company, often you get a reply “My son/daughter/relative Mr/Ms XXX also works in ABC. Do you know him/her"? If you answer in the negative, they feel disappointed.

It is difficult to explain them that there are around thousands of employees in my company, and I cannot know everybody in my ODC, forget about knowing everybody in the company.

I hope most of you have come across these situations and many more such myths.

_______________________________________________________________

PS: Software: Computer software, or just software, is a collection of computer programs and related data that provides the instructions for telling a computer what to do and how to do it. Software refers to one or more computer programs and data held in the storage of the computer for some reasons.

Kuch doubt he to yaar Wikipedia se pooch lo ya google kar lo :)

Honesty is the best policy

Kuch yaad aaya?? Yahi sikhate tha school me "Honesty is the best policy and we should never lie". Do you think we are following this slogan completely?

Some people say that they hate those who tell lies for any reason while some other people accept “white lies” when situation arises, even if they usually do not like lying. Well, I guess many of us are like that.

During our childhood, our parents teach us one of the greatest human values: always telling the truth. Based on this, parents can help us resolve life problems, and we build a strong familial relationship with them. For example, lying or omitting the truth towards our parents can leads us getting in trouble or even in life threatening situations. Sometimes might be too late for them to help us, even if they try hard to do as much as possible to get us out of the problems.
Today, we are sometimes honest and sometimes we take help of white lies to escape from an unwanted situation. Wo kehte he na ki "jis jhooth se kisi ka bhala ho ya nuksaan na ho use jhooth nahin kehte". Ab kya karein!!! har kisi ko har time sach bhi to nahin bol sakte.... arey bhai zamana hi aisa he and according to Raju of 3 idiots "jhooth bolna bhi to hume parents and is duniya ne sikhaya he".

Being an honest person is awfully significant in any long term relationship, such as a friendship or a marriage relation. We want our life partner and friends to be truthful to us but when our turn comes we never hesitate to throw a believable white lie. Office ke baad booze party me jaana he to wife ko bol do "Yaar, aaj thoda time lagega office me. Thoda kaam aa gya he :)" ya phir apne friend k saath na jaana ho to "yaar, thoda kaam  he mujhe aur tabiyat bhi thik nahin lag rahi he, tu samajhna".

Actually, we all have classified certain areas where we have to be honest and where we have to lie (a lie which does not harm anyone or may be gives some advantage with out hurting anyone) like:-

1. We are honest to our life partner and immediate family members but not completely with relatives (Haye haye....rishtedaaro ki nazar lag gayi to!!).

2. We must be honest to our employer but its okay to lie (white/black) to the client to win something.(However the later part remains correct always but are we sure about the first part? :))

3. We always do some jugaad in investment proofs while paying and filing Income tax return. (Ab itne bade bade ghotale hote he humare yahan...humne 20,30 hazaar ka ghotla kar liya to kya fark padta he, kyun!! he na?)

4. We the people who are slaves of private organizations are honest while applying for leaves but it's okay to bunk office once in a while with an absurd reason. (Ab, ye to chalta he yaar.... hum aur kya karein agar office se chutti nahin milti to..)

5. We are honest to traffic police when we have full papers of vehicle but its okay to slip Gandhiji if we get caught with incomplete papers. (Majboori ka naam Mahtma Gandhi)

6. We are honest and in our limits when we go to USA, Europe or on any other overseas location but its okay to blend things in our own country. (Actually, bahar k strict rules se phat ti he na hum logo ki.... yahan kuch kiya to saale fine laga denge ya seedha andar :D)

"Mera bharat mahaan, sau me se assi baimaan" seems we have to  live like this.So, I feel the definition of slogan "Honesty is the best policy" is changed. Honesty may not be the best policy but it does not ensure that being honest will not trouble you.

Baarish ki kich kich...

"5 minutes of heavy rain turned Noida/Delhi in to Venice.....arey koi boat lao, mujhe office jana he..."

This was my statement few days back on Facebook and I think this should be for the next few days if it continues to rain like this.

Generally, baarish ho rahi he isse koi farak nahin padta but it surely gives a moment to think when it is raining either at the time of going to work or at the time of returning from work.

Jo bhi ho, office to jaane hi he, office se jaana bhi he and in all this kich kich pich pich everybody wants to reach their destination asap which sometimes results in traffic jams and making all late. Sometimes people are not able to reach office on time to attend conference call with the overseas client. I hope ki aisa ho sakta --------------------->

Thanks to our drainage systems designed by intellect authorities which makes roads to get disappear under water and show us that there are no signs of drought anywhere. People who walk on road feels that they are in some water amusement park due to the frequent splashes of water coming on them from the vehicles coming in high speed in those flooded roads.

Interesting thing is to know what different people thinks on a rainy day:-

Four wheeler users: if they have a two wheeler then they could have commuted by it using a raincoat and avoided all these traffic chaos.

Two wheeler users: if they have a four wheeler then they could have commuted by it, ye raincoat and udte hue kichad se chutkara milta.

Bicycle users: I am fine with it, at least I can hold umbrella in one hand and still drive my bicycle.

Pedestrian: Getting on to a bicycle to reach early to work.

Traffic police: Chodna!! kaun saala baarish me khade ho kar bheegega.... traffic ki maa behen ek hoti he to hone do... baad me dekh lenge.

Office Shuttle driver: Ye bikers raincoat pehen kar to sukhe sukhe aa jaate hein aur phir humari gaadi ki seat ko geela kar dete hein... unke baad aana waala employee hum par chillata he ki seat gili kyun he.

Road side Sabzi Wale: Hey Bhagwaan, ye baarish kab thamegi, kab humari sabzi bikegi.

People frustrated from traffic jams: 

Ye Noida me auto waalo ko half kar dena 
chahiye, saara traffic inhi ki wajah se hota he... ye aadhe kam ho jayenge to traffic sudhar jayega (They don't bother about 
people who don't have their own vehicle).
Log public transport kyun nahin use karte
yaar, kuch to traffic kam ho. 








Employees: It's better to inform the boss that I will get late for office due to this fucking traffic jam.

Home less people: Ab kahan sir chupau, kahan jaun.

Lovers: "Dekho baarish ho rahi he...mera dil ro raha he..." and other romantic songs :)

Alcohol lovers: Arey yaar, aaj phir mahol ban gya he peene waala....mausam mast he.. chalein kya!!

There may be lots of other things too,Kher jo bhi ho, once we reach our destination after experiencing the natural shower adrak waali chai and garma garam pakode to chal hi jaate hein.

Travelling From H.NZM

Last month July was totally a journey month, whole month we were travelling to different places including our parents and  that too in between madness of traffic jams due to rain, heavy rains, train delays due to Power grid failure.
I like travelling via train as I meet/see different people some strange, some funny and looking out of window and hanging on door takes me to all those old memories of my earlier life. Every time I have to travel I start getting excited and conscious to reach station on time to avoid last minute running and pushing. I totally believe on our railways that train will not arrive at platform at the exact time but still I don't want to take any chance. 

Well, it's  been around 12 years since I started travelling own my own mostly using railways and every time I go to my home in Gujarat I feel the same excitement which I used to feel in those days of my graduation. (I left my home for the first time to pursue my graduation)

Whenever I choose railways to commute I feel that one of the good job which Lalu has done in his railway ministry tenure is to start Garib rath train, this train is equipped completely with 3rd AC sleeper coaches with half fare as compared to normal rates of 3 tier AC and the best thing is that it takes 13 hours (~same as Rajdhani express ) to reach Surat from Delhi so it suits me best to go home on cheaper fare using Air Conditioned facility. 
Btw, the purpose of starting Garib Rath train was to make poor people afford travelling in Air Conditioned sleeper coaches on cheaper fare although I have never seen any poor people travelling in it. All middle class people use it to lower their travel expenses, this train's booking get full in the first 30 minutes on the day when advance reservation period opens i.e. 120 days.

As I said, last month was full of journey so Hazrat Nizzamuddin railway station was my most visited station and every time I go there I see:-

1. The women who first request and then pin up small indian flag on your shirt then start asking money?

2. The local dhaba got beer Haywards 50000 to sell, I have never seen it on thekas and in pub. :)

 3. The installed X-ray machine is not getting used completely, many labour class people passing it without putting their jhola/Thela in it.

4. The parking is always full. Government should give a thought to build a multilevel parking

5. The prepaid auto rickshaw counter executive is not present in his booth most of the time.

6. There are no sign boards to parcel office, how one is supposed to find it to book his parcel.

7. One of the CISF security guard standing always near X-Ray machine plays an important role in managing crowd on the entrance of station. I hope there are more like him.

8. There is no Ticket checker on the exit of station.

9. H. NZM has a fine Comesum restaurant which is open 24x7. It also serves a place for night hangout especially in winters.

10. Railway has installed a big billboard which shows status of incoming and outgoing trains.

11. Auto and taxi drivers can make a big hole in your pocket by putting their fare missile if you are unknown about the usual fare to your destination.

I hope someday Railway ministry gives H.NZM station a cosmetic fix as it did to New Delhi Railway Station.

Aakkkthuuu…

Driver:(Chewing Tobacco) Picchhhh…. arey!! 15 tareek lo band ho jai…phir ka kareebe??
Other Person:Band ho jai to ho jai…stock mangaye lenge.
Driver: Abe Baklol!!, kitna stockwa kareebe? Phir khtam hoibe ki na hoibe?
Other Person: Khtam ho jai to ho jai, mangaye lenge phir rishtedaarwa se jab uhh Patna to Delhi aawe.
Driver: haan, Uhh bhi thik he….saala iske bina to zindagi jhand he…guzara nahin hoga sasura

I don’t know whether above conversation was in Bihari or Bhojpuri, it was on our way from office to parking plot between our shuttle cab driver and one of his colleague who was sitting besides him in Maruti Omni.

Did you get the idea about which thing they were talking about? They were talking about the ban on tobacco and nicotin products such as gutkha, pan masala, cigarrates etc which government of Haryana and Delhi is applying after 15 August 2012. They were tensed about getting their masala once it gets banned and not available on  khoka at every nukkad.It seemed that they can not live without chewing gutkha as if their body does not work untill they put gutkha in between their tongue and teeth.
Government is taking this step to stop consumption of these things in the state to avoid bad consequences while on the other hand these people have started making schemes to get it either by purchasing it in bulk before ban to stock or by finding ways to smuggle it from the neighboring states where it is not getting banned.

On one of the news website I found a news about this ban, Gutkha manufacturing companies are making new ways to sell their product. They are planning to sell the required ingredients for Gutkha to sell separately in market so one who wants to have gutkha can mix these ingredients and enjoy it. (I am not  showing a way to tobacco lovers)

Many educated and uneducated people are aware about the consequences of such products but still they consume it, not able to leave their habit and do picchhh… aakkthuuu… everywhere to paint the walls and corners.What an artist these Gutkha chewers are, paintings created by their spitted color should be placed in some art exhibition for bidding. They do not only paint the walls they use the roads as well and the art of painting things while on the move is excellent. One of my friend's taste buds have become insensitive as he is not able to feel any taste due to excessive chewing of Gutkha but he is still continuing with his habit.

Such people should take care of their habit, they should not paint walls with the color from their mouth and they should not make other people passive smoker.

Reward and Recognition

As our Organization is an integral part of People CMM, few months back they initiated the practice of bringing employee’s innovative methods to the limelight.


They launched Continuous Capability Improvement(CCI) drive where employee get opportunities to share their creative work process approaches among the other associates so they provided a platform to recognize and reward the innovative Personal Work Processes (PWPs) implemented by an employee to enhance efficiency and effectiveness as individuals and teams. In this one has to include introduction of any new tool, practice and procedure which helped in increasing efficiency , over all capability and simplifying work process.


I participated in it, shared my personal techniques/methods to accomplish a work/task to keep client and bosses happy, the best part is that my PWP get selected as one of the best PWPs so I got a reward for this from top shots of management. :)


This is a second good thing happened to me after my appraisal in June. I am happy :D


Here is the award