The year that went by.

It's 26th today and it's my birthday. Turning an another year older does not give any special feeling but the day itself become special. Every year I don't know what happens on this day, I sleep the night before and wake up on this day by feeling special. Suddenly I become special for the world around me, I feel that happiness from inside that its my birthday today and I am special for the day which leads to a constant joyful smile on the face.

I know the whole day will pass with wishes and with the curiosity that who all are going to wish me, whether I am going to get wished by my list of expected people or how many wishes I get from the unexpected people.

I will write another post on how my day was but right now I would like to recall how was the year that went by:-

1. Last year I was with my parents on this day and today I am very very far from them.

2. My wife had surprised me with the gifts which actually already started this time as well.

3. Got reward and recognition from my employer.

4. Learnt dance with my wife and delivered our first stage performance in the marriage of cousin.

5. Was selling and rearranging my household stuff for relocation.

6. Left my Indian employer.

7. Partied hard with my friends before leaving India.

8. Relocated to Sweden and joined an Swedish employer.

9. Joined Android family.

10.. Started to learn new things at work, place, language.

11. Made new Indian friends in Sweden.

12. Have been to Amsterdam, Paris, Stockholm, Norway on trips so far.

13. Had many varieties of cakes, breads, pastries etc so far.

Hmm, not bad. I pray to god to bless me and give me the strength to achieve my all dreams.

Happy Birthday to Me.

That feeling to do nothing.

I don't know about you but sometimes I go in to a state where I don't want to do anything but still I get frustrate that why I am not doing something. Sometimes it happens on a day of weekend and sometimes on weekday. Well, weekday becomes different because in any case I have to do my work in office but then apart from official work I don't feel to do anything and I get irritated with that boredom feeling.

I ask myself, what you want to do

1. Do you want to check your Facebook?
No, it's not interesting anymore.

2. Do you want to watch any movie?
No, I am not feeling to do so.

3. Do you want to sleep?
No, I am not feeling sleepy.

4. Do you want to eat something?
No.

5. Do you want a drink?
Yes, but I am not interested to make it, so leave it.

6. Do you want to talk to somebody?
No, I want to remain silent for some time.

7. Do you want to lay on this sofa like a pig?
No, I don't want that either.

8. Do you want to listen any music?
No, I have already listened my favorite numbers many times.

9. Do you want to complete your unfinished novel?
No, my brain is not in the mood to work.

10. Do you want to cook?
No, I forgot all recipes.

11. Do you want to see porn?
Chee!! No!!

Then what the hell do you want ?
I don't know, I don't know..... this boredom feeling is killing me. Oh dear god, please help me.

And, then I don't know how that phase gets over and I again start doing something.

Btw, doing nothing is in itself a great job you are doing as you are not doing anything. :)

Second hand Jawani and Halkat Jawani

***Disclaimer: No! this post is not about Saifeena and also not about the songs which have the words as of the title of this post. These words do not seem awkward when you listen them in songs but they do if they are used to symbolize about somebody's personal life.
You may find this post a bit weird or ugly due to the usage of language and words which were used actually between a group of people.***

Conversation 1:

Person 1: Abe saale!! wo tujhe pagal bana rahi he, use kar rahi tujhe.

Person 2: yaar aisa kuch nahin he.

Person 1: kya kuch nahin he? hum sab ko kya dikhta nahin he. Pehle waale ko to usne chod diya Gay bolkar and tu fresh he isiliye tere chakkar me he. <Ice daaliyo bhai>.

Person 3: <Oye, mere bhi ice daal de>, sahi to bol rha he ye, tabhi to tere ko itna space de rahi he. Tere alawa aur bhi logo ne module pe saath kaam kiya he phir unse itna friendly kyun nahin hoti wo. Tere ko fasa rahi he wo.

Person 2: yaar! kaisi thinking he tum logo ki!! shit!! hum bas friend he haan professional friend se aage waale friend he bas.

Person 1: Abe, friend vriend kuch nahin hota, tujhe apne jaal main phasa rahi he. Uske liye to badhiya he na ki ek fresh ladka pat jayega, nahin to ek middle class divorcee ko second hand jawani hi milti he.<saala!!, high ho kar bhi uski perwi kar rha he.>

Person 3: Abe koi he nahin uske pass, isiliye tujh me rab dikh rha he use. Warna kaun si "just friend" ladki raat me 1-2 ghante phone pe baat karti he be?

Person 2: WTF!! how do you know that I talk to her in night?

Person 1: <arey ye khatam to kar> Abe BKL!! hum ek flat share karte hein, itna to pta chal hi jaata he kaun kis se baat kar rha he.

Person 3: Initially we thought that you are just doing time pass with her. But now every one on the floor is talking about your not so secret floor love.

Person 2: Guys!! give me a break, Okay!! now both of you are crossing the line and both of you have already insulted mine and her relation whatever it is. I love to spend time with her and I don't care if she was married once or twice, it does not matter to me. It's my personal life and I don't expect to hear such sluggish things from my roommates.

Person 1: <accha hua glass ni phoota> dekh bhai yahi to hum chahte hein that you take a break from her. Try to understand yaar, time pass thik he but why are you so serious about her. You are just 27 and in a year later you will be at good position in your career then you can choose any good girl from many girls. I am not saying that she is not good but she is experienced yaar.

Person 3: and it is like that only, fresh choose fresh for relations.

Person 2: Both of you, shut the fuck up, okay!! if you were not my room mates then I would have broken this bottle of magic moments on your fucking head. Douche bags.

Person 1,2: bhai, ye to gya, ye nahin samjhega.<chalo khatam kare, nahin to humare sir pe hi phootegi>

Conversation 2:

Person 1: Abe tujhe nahin pta? uski do shaadiyaan hui hein.

Person 2: Accha!! aisa kya hua? 

Person 3: Kya pta, bhaag gayi hogi pehle waali chod k ya phir isi ne bhaga diya hoga... maza nahin aa rha hoga ise.

Person 4: tabhi main sochun ki saala har time sab ki maa behen karne pe kyun lga rehta he, lagta he pehle waali chod gayi isiliye aisa rehta he.

Person 1: Abe jo bhi ho, doosri to mil gayi na!! saale ko do do mil gayi phir bhi baaki ladkiyon ko dekh kar tharkiya rehta he. 

Person 3: Saala, yahan ki tharak apni doosri waali pe nikalta hoga.

All: Ha ha ha!! 

Person 5: shhh!! wo saamne se aa rahe hein.

All: Good Morning Sir!

Person 1: Chalo be nikalte hein yahan se nahin to abhi humari hi le lega.

I hope you have interpreted what the above two conversation were about, what they were depicting and for whom by whom. 

Well, it seems that above conversations were taken between uneducated people with orthodox thinking but surprisingly they were taken among the employees of an IT firm for their top most manager and for their colleague. 

It's very sad to see that educated people working in IT firms have such kind of thoughts for people who have been through failed marriage or got married twice for any reason. Why to develop false perception for such people with out even knowing the exact reason of their failed marriage?

We talk and believe that everybody has the right to live a happy and cheerful life on the other hand we symbolize these people as nymphomaniac, despo etc. whatever they do we are always ready to take a vouch on them , laugh about them and criticize them on their back, no one does the same thing for the people who are single or living a happy first marriage life.

There can be many reasons behind a failed marriage which leads one to go for second marriage or to have a second chance in love but it does not mean that society and people want them to be always single to show their sympathy and always pity them "Bechara! kitna bhala aadmi he... ab akela he..." or to use them as an object for making fun.

Different people have different thinking on this topic but I feel that the perception/image of a person should not be based on his/her personal life and one should neither try to find out the reason behind their commitment status nor to project them as a person which actually they aren't.

Trash them up.

From past few weeks operating system on my laptop started giving me warning about low disk space, I don't why it started to buzz me when there was still 8 GB free space left from 300 GB hard disk drive and I was still like "keep talking.. you moron!! I am not gonna do anything until it comes down to 1 GB or 2 GB" but then one day it started behaving like old celeron or P1 processor which actually leads me to do some clean up.

When I started cleaning and rearranging data on hard disk drive I realized that how much clutter and seems to be useful and interesting unwanted things I have stored on it. Having a 300 GB hard disk I didn't think twice before storing something on it. Storing which movie or which songs did not matter till you have the full disk. If you have 500 GB or 1 TB hdd then its just gonna occupied with most of the  things which you actually don't require.

I don't know why I have collected and stored enormous number of technical and some novel's e-books/pdf on my laptop. I have hardly read some of them but I am sure that I am not going to read each and every pdf stored in my laptop in my entire life, so what's the use? I don't know? I still have them... ab gyaan ki cheezein kaise delete mar sakte hein :D. When I was done cleaning I was able to free 80 GB from hdd, it is the size of one hard disk drive which I used to have for my desktop in 2003.

But this whole cleaning process and a blog post who am I by Pooja  lead me to think one thing, just like hard disk drives, how much clutter or unwanted things we generally store or have in our life as well? It all seems to be important and useful but still its all unwanted and the moment you remove it from your life you will feel light, more spacious just like free space in hard disk drives.

Some small things, gives us or teach us some great things, if I start seeing things from a philosophical view then every thing says something to us which we sometimes listen or sometimes ignore.

So, sometimes we need to do them up, I know from hard disk drive perspective its easy and its hard from the real life perspective but still sometimes we need to shred those things.

That innocent child Inside you.

Most of the time I used to say to my wife "Yaar, you know you are talking like kids" or "Why you are behaving like kids? Com'on!!You are grown up, you are not a kid anymore." and to this she always says "haan haan aap to bahut bade ho na, you are sounding like a very very mature person".

Sometimes I wonder, we are now adult who understand things, situations, conditions, we know how to behave and what to speak but still sometimes we become that small kid which we used to be with out caring about this grown up world.

Yesterday, we were at the place of our one of the Indian friend here in Sweden for FIKA ( Swedish verb and noun (pronounced "fee-ka") that means "to drink coffee/tea/squash," with some sweets usually accompanied by friends). We met, chatted and after spending some time there we decided to go back to our place. The moment we reached downstairs it started raining heavily and then we have to stay there to wait for rain to stop.

We were again guests for our host, my friend took out his Nintendo Wii to play some games on it and it was my first experience with Nintendo Wii after all those child hood video games,brick games, college hood computer games (College hood, I know that's not a word :D ) and my experience was awesome. It lets you move from your place so its not like you are sitting at one place all the time in front of the TV screen. I wondered at that time if my parents would have been here at this moment then I could have said to them that "Ab aap log nahin keh sakte ki saare din is game k chakkar me TV k saamne betha rehta he... dekho ye bethna waala game nahin he :D".

The girls were least interested in playing that game so they were chatting and preparing dinner in their kitchen while we boys were jumping, bouncing and shouting while playing games on Wii :). Yesterday, I became that small child when I was playing those games, I told my wife two or three times to not to cross from area between me and the TV screen because I was getting disturb and loosing points there :D. I played, won, loose and giggled about it.

While going back to our place my wife started saying all those dialogues which I used to say her as mentioned in the opening of this post and why shouldn't she, she got such a nice chance to say something same back to me. :D, she was happy, I was happy, we both were happy.

It was fun to play such kind of games till college life, I don't know how and where that charm for these games vanished midst of job, career and family life but it is always fun to somethings which you did in your childhood. Its not like that I was not aware about Nintendo Wii or Xbox but still never purchased them. I still remember that day when my father bought us (me and my brother) our first video game and again he became super dad from just dad :D........ and we started to install it with TV and started fighting to choose who is gonna take first remote.... and...

Pufffffffffffffffffffffffffffff............. ohhh.... I am just back from my old memories. I know I was talking like a kid.

Modernity has stolen the greatest gift to mankind -- Innocence **read it somewhere, don't know who penned it**